Personal/Health Issue - Feeling a bit scared

[Futurehappiness]

I have a lot of things going on in life right now. I have an adult DS with severe physical & learning disabilities whom I care for at the weekend when he is home from his care facility....his care needs are very challenging.

At the same time my DParent has dementia and is reaching the end of their life. Just a long, slow decline over months & which will only end one way. I have a full time job which has been going well, have had lots of positive feedback. But it can be emotionally demanding and it frequently involves dealing with sensitive personal issues.

Just in the last few weeks I am finding it incredibly difficult to handle work; it is hard to focus on things properly, to respond emotionally and to articulate. It is as though I am looking at everything through a thick fog, and I can't find the energy to work at the moment. I can just about do a task of the time but feel that I am losing the 'big picture', the entirety of my workload

Today I tried to work but I just can't seem to gather myself & I feel incredibly guilty. I feel scared that this situation could be permanent & result in me not being able to work any more.

Do you have any thoughts about what could be going on? I have made a doctor's appointment but the earliest available is the end of next week.

It’s most likely that this is a reaction to the emotional stress you are under. If you are working full time and caring for your son on weekends plus dealing with your parent you will have very little time or space for yourself.

in very similar circumstances I burnt out.

can you look into compassionate leave, or other ways of either getting others to also support your parent and your child or getting you a break.

Hi this sounds like how I was feeling, I was signed off last week with stress. Reading a work document was almost impossible, couldn’t focus, struggled making basic decisions. I think my patience worn thin after long term firefighting at work and I had nothing left to give. People who are lovely were really bothering me as I was irritable. Also had fog, lack of motivation

Thank you both @Octavia64 and @Lavachicken37 for sharing your experiences, they are relatable to what I am going through & what you have described really resonates with me. I have stopped working now as I am so unproductive....I was struggling to write the simplest email, I am finding it hard even to write this response. I don't feel like myself at all; just a numb empty shell.

OK I have had my GP appointment....have a suspected mental health condition but apparently there is a waiting list of 2 years before I can even be assessed. Had a blood test just so see in the meantime if there is anything else going on re hormonal/vitamin deficiencies.

I went to see my DParent......just declining every time I see her. It is grindingly hard. I am not 'visiting her' any more....just going in to ensure that she is not in pain or distress. The person who was in my life all my life is not really there any more & I miss her. I grieve for someone who is still alive and I feel guilty for doing that.

A friend of mine really upset me the other day by saying 'she could go on for another 5 years like this'. Surely not? It is not that I wish her life to end, but she has no quality of life. Is that terrible of me?

Back at work today; I have to deal with personal sensitive issues in the course of my work & I am just panicking that I may have dealt with them wrong. It is so hard to concentrate. I just logged into my work to check I hadn't messed something up....phew no I didnt! For another day I am in the clear.

I feel I am just not coping right now & I don't know why.