Summer Meet-ups that don't happen!

[Sunshadows]

There are two couples who live in our road, and another couple a few streets away who dh & I are friends with.

I meet up with the women every few months, (meals & drinks out), and dh sees the men with almost the same frequency (mainly cycle rides followed by local pub)!

It seems every year for about the last 5, someone or I, mention all of us couples meeting up.in the summer. They seem keen this time of year, for an afternoon/evening on the beach where we all take our own drinks & snacks/BBQ in one of our gardens/meeting up at one of our local summer festivals.

These never happen, and suggestions have started again this year. A few times I've suggested actual dates on our WhatsApp group and it's all been 'Ooh that sounds lovely/we'll let you know/text me the morning of that event and we'll sort a time to all walk down' etc.

Invariably, they drop out last minute or don't confirm either way. 😞 Then next time we see each other it's 'We must sort that BBQ/beach meet-up!' I've stopped suggesting them now, as felt upset when my invites were ignored.

There are various VE Day celebrations this week (dh & I were at one Bank Holiday Monday) and I said it would have been nice if some of the others could have joined us. He said 'Take the hint, they don't want to! It's been obvious to me for the last year.'

True, yes and I've stopped suggesting things now, but all of us meeting up together should be a nice thing to do surely, if we're all friends anyway, and why have the others suggested things if they've no intention of doing them? 🤷‍♀️

Not eve ru one wants to be friends either their neighbors, or maybe that have other friends they do these things with. Your DH is right, they don’t want to. Have you got other friends you can arrange things with?

Invite them to a barbecue or whatever you are having with other friends and don’t care if they decline or cancel.
Perhaps there is an incompatibility between the two groups that you are unaware of (one of the husbands finds one of the wives annoying, or one couple suggested swinging with another and now it’s awkward…) — it may have nothing to do with you at all.

Yes, we both have friends outside this group, we see a lot of.
It's more a case of, I see mine and he sees his, rather than doing things as couples. Dh & I often go out, just the two of us too. Even though we know most of each other's friends & partners, 'couples' meet-ups get suggested but don't happen.

Sorry to say it but if they wanted to, they would make it happen.

Yes, I think you're right sadly.
I still don't get why some of them agree to, or suggest things they won't follow through with. I guess they just think it's the right thing to say at the time. 🤔

Thanks Zeitum, yes maybe an invite to something others are coming to also, is an option. Last time we attempted to.meet one of the couples on our own they cancelled on us with hardly any notice!

They don't do that though if it's just the women/just the men meeting up. Maybe people feel it 'cramps their style' with partners there too, who knows!! I'd rather know, but feel I can't ask.