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Original poster

Holding DC back a school year? Any experiences/thoughts please?

24 replies

WellErrrr · 07/05/2025 21:01

Not something I thought I’d ever consider but…for this specific set of circumstances I’m seriously considering it.

DD8 is mid-August born and currently in year 4. We moved back to England last summer - all 4 children were very behind academically due to not being in English curriculum, but the other 3 have caught up very well.

DD8 has not caught up and is very behind. She had global delay when an infant but largely caught up, however is now falling behind again.

The school she is at is very nice and the classes are pairs of school years. She is currently in 3/4 and about to move into 5/6. She is absolutely not ready for that.

I’d be very interested to hear from anyone who has kept their DC back a year, and how it went for you. The ‘evidence’ of it having a negative effect is very unreliable and mostly US-based.

Id really love to hear some experiences please! Were you pleased you did it?

Thanks.

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 07/05/2025 21:03

If it's a state school, they won't let you do it regardless

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 07/05/2025 21:05

I think you can request it by applying to the council, but they are under no obligation to grant your request and may refuse. I'm pretty sure the school itself doesn't get to decide.

Sunnyglowdays · 07/05/2025 21:07

I’ve seen it happen before in a state school. Have you talked to the school about it yet?

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Original poster
WellErrrr · 07/05/2025 21:07

The school and head are supportive of it and confident the LA would agree, so I’m not too concerned about that at the moment.

It’s more the decision itself.

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 07/05/2025 21:14

A child joined one of DC's classes in Y4 and started in the year below to what they should be. This was something the family argued with the LA about. Apparently it took some persuading.

For the child - the parents believe they benefitted greatly. They'd been born premature, were an August birthday and had development delay. They gained confidence in the following few years at primary. They were very much part of the class, made many friends. And they had struggles but with support from.their family and school they made progression. They managed well at secondary with some support and now at Art College.

LostMySocks · 07/05/2025 21:17

If the LA agrees make sure that she can stay in that year group when she changes school and they don't put her back into Y8

Cerialkiller · 07/05/2025 21:21

My ds did a repeat of reception. He has a cognitive disability. He was in a much better position when we then went up a year. I recommend doing it as early as possible though.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/05/2025 21:24

It becomes a problem for sporty children who, for obvious reasons, can’t play outside of their actual birth date cohort.

Original poster
WellErrrr · 07/05/2025 21:48

Thank you. Hadn’t considered the sport angle, but I don’t think it should affect her chosen sport 🤞

OP posts:
parietal · 07/05/2025 21:52

Sounds like a good idea to hold her back. Friend of my dc repeated a year and then stayed with her new cohort all through school and did fine.

wafflesmgee · 07/05/2025 21:53

If she’s in a year 3/4 class then go for it, she’ll stay with most of her peers and still see the year 4a during key stage two playtimes together. If the school say it’s right for her, trust them.
what does your daughter think?
I only know of a child who was put a year ahead and wished she hadn’t, that was 30years ago so not relevant.

Workissuestoo · 07/05/2025 21:56

Bigearringsbigsmile · 07/05/2025 21:03

If it's a state school, they won't let you do it regardless

They do my dc is repeating reception year

Jennifershuffles · 07/05/2025 21:59

I had a girl kept back in my Y5 class (years ago state primary). She also had global developmental delay (but hadn't really caught up) and was very young for her age. It was a good idea for her from what I could tell. She was fine socially in the class, I could differentiate work for her more easily than a Y6 teacher would have been able to and it gave her another year before secondary school which I think was a good idea.

There's not a lot of difference between late August and early September I think if the school are agreeing to it they are probably pretty confident it's for the best.
Good luck - these decisions are always agonising.

arethereanyleftatall · 07/05/2025 22:50

WellErrrr · 07/05/2025 21:48

Thank you. Hadn’t considered the sport angle, but I don’t think it should affect her chosen sport 🤞

different sports have different cut offs for the year group
swimming outside of school for example is the year from jan-dec eg at national level is 01/01/xx - 31/12/xx
but football is the school year.sep-aug. So she would be playing with the year above.
school sport will all be with the year above for any matches (unless the school cheat which I think some do)

Eastmeetswest1 · 07/05/2025 23:10

2 youngsters were kept back in one of our youngsters schools and I would say do it. At sports day, the 2 held back a year won everything every year as they were a year (or more) older than all the others in the class. It boosted their confidence no end winning everything. I believe it has even bigger benefits as they move up the school - more mature applying/ dealing with college / uni / apprenticeships and interacting with older colleagues and not the last to turn 18!

arethereanyleftatall · 08/05/2025 08:15

Eastmeetswest1 · 07/05/2025 23:10

2 youngsters were kept back in one of our youngsters schools and I would say do it. At sports day, the 2 held back a year won everything every year as they were a year (or more) older than all the others in the class. It boosted their confidence no end winning everything. I believe it has even bigger benefits as they move up the school - more mature applying/ dealing with college / uni / apprenticeships and interacting with older colleagues and not the last to turn 18!

Um. What about everyone else?!? How lovely for those kids - at the expense of others.

TheNightingalesStarling · 08/05/2025 08:19

Remember itsonly in school sport affected

Out of school, they just ay with everyone the same age as them. Usually a variety of schools, so its not obvious they are in the "wrong" year.

Original poster
WellErrrr · 08/05/2025 08:36

She’s small for her age and being assessed for dyspraxia, she’s definitely not a threat to the others sporting wise!

Thanks for the responses. It really is an agonising decision…it will either be the absolute best thing, which will allow her to thrive and be happy and she will thank us forever - or a total disaster, millstone round her neck for the rest of her school life, which she will blame us for forever. And there’s really no way of knowing until we try.

The other option is to move her to a very good but tiny village school where she would have more 1-1 help. But only one other child her age.

OP posts:
Lovelysummerdays · 08/05/2025 09:10

I had a fair amount of angst about this for my middle child. Other slotted neatly in school year. Chose to defer as pretty much all the parents I spoke to the ones with regret were the ones who didn’t defer. He is the oldest in his class but only by a month.

Generally I think we start formal school a bit early so another year of play based learning at nursery seems like a good thing.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 08/05/2025 09:20

My son was Aug born, and had learning needs. I wasn't able to start him in YR at compulsory school age. Ie 5. He struggled for years. Eventually he changed schools in Y10 and was placed in Y9. Best thing for him ever. He got a solid cluster of GCSE passes and is doing really well in motor mechanics. I had tried earlier and my ex had objected on no good grounds, other than to spite me. The secondary schools were private however not state and the final school had real flexibility.

arethereanyleftatall · 08/05/2025 09:37

WellErrrr · 08/05/2025 08:36

She’s small for her age and being assessed for dyspraxia, she’s definitely not a threat to the others sporting wise!

Thanks for the responses. It really is an agonising decision…it will either be the absolute best thing, which will allow her to thrive and be happy and she will thank us forever - or a total disaster, millstone round her neck for the rest of her school life, which she will blame us for forever. And there’s really no way of knowing until we try.

The other option is to move her to a very good but tiny village school where she would have more 1-1 help. But only one other child her age.

It’s really difficult, because anecdotally from parents, it seems to be all front loaded. Wonderful in primary, not quite so much in secondary when their cohort is off travelling and they’ve got their a levels.

regarding sport, small, and dyspraxia, to a certain extent there has to be one main rule for everyone with I guess differentiations at the discretion of the individual club which wouldn’t apply in any competition. Maximum of one year apart would be the most fair for the most people.

Fuzzypinetree · 08/05/2025 09:58

Our situation is slightly different but DC1 is currently repeating the last few weeks of Grade 1 and will repeat all of Grade 2 (we're abroad and DC1 should be in Grade 2). We've mostly done it because he's moved from an English-speaking school to a local one, which teaches in the local language. He's also dyslexic.
It's not a big deal here and only required a short form to be signed.
He's settling in slowly and is quite relaxed (as are his teachers) because he doesn't have the academic pressure. He's just come home with his first spelling test (in the local language) and he's done great. It's lovely for his confidence.
I understand that it's more difficult in an English state school, with the expectation of work being differentiated to multiple degrees. (We don't have that. They differentiate but there are year group standards that have to be met to move up.)

Summeraintwhatitusedtobe · 08/07/2025 23:14

@Fuzzypinetree where are you please? What is the difference in age, as in when is your Dc birthday?

Fuzzypinetree · 09/07/2025 05:50

@Summeraintwhatitusedtobe We are in Germany. The local school obviously teaches in German, only. (I think they start doing some basic English in 3rd Grade.)
What do you mean with difference in age? He's 8. One of his friends from his new class is turning 8 in the summer holidays. DS has a December birthday.
There are other kids in the class, who have started later or are repeating a year so he doesn't feel that out of place.

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