Friends that have disappeared off the face of the Earth

[BePearlKoala]

Do you know people like this? Over the past 15 years I've had friends who have simply vanished (but not actually gone missing). Even a bestfriend who did it. Or sometimes it's just people I've gone to school / university with! Starting to think im the problem lol. But seriously, their social media profiles are still there but haven't been updated / online for many years, like they're permanently stuck in 2015. Of course it's none of my business what they're doing and i'm sure if they wanted to get in contact they would, but I think it's natural to be curious what they're doing nowdays.

I think many people have wised up to privacy concerns related to social media. Most people I know (myself included) who still use it never post anything personal. Many people I know deactivated or have not updated in years.

They are just busy. Some people don’t do social media (I don’t).

That's true. I still use facebook and Instagram daily but haven't posted or shared anything in a couple years. I removed all pictures of my child on there a couple years ago too.

My best friend from secondary school (age 14-18) suddenly cut ties with everyone at 21. No one knows why. It happened 25 years ago, yet still gets mentioned occasionally when I bump into old friends and we are reminiscing. Almost everyone will muse over what happened to this particular friend, and different people will raise it - no stalkerish obsessions/long held flames. She is alive, because a mutual friend came across her professional profile in a work context a few years ago, but we decided that she wouldn't welcome an approach and didn't take it further.

I have friends who have dropped off social media, and in a couple of cases I am sad I have no method of contacting them. Shows the friendship was a loose one I suppose.

This could be me. Totally deleted my fb account 8 years ago. I have an Instagram but don't know the log in and couldn't be bothered to fix it. That page hasn't been updated since October 2017.

No linkedin, tik tok or Snapchat. Not on X either.

I'm sure most people would think I've vanished.

I’m not on any social media, so if anyone tried to look for me they’d find nothing. I’m not in touch with anyone from school.

I do sometimes wonder if anyone has tried to look for me 🤣

Yes I know a couple of people who'd be in their 40s, just vanish. Again I think social media plays a part - they don't use it so no way to trace them

One friend went travelling, married a man abroad who insisted she change her email to a joint one (❗) then it bounced back a few months in. Never heard from her again. I often think of her.

I guess these people just decide who they want to stay in touch with and we don't make the grade. Sad though.

But don't you see them IRL? How can you have a best friend vanish?

In my case she just stopped answering the phone, sending letters or Christmas cards (email was rarer then). No row, our last conversation was completely normal.

I tried a few different routes in case she had lost her phone/moved suddenly, then had to conclude she didn't want to stay in touch. Spoke to mutual friends later that year and discovered we had similar experiences.