a male colleague who I know used to fancy me at work very obviously picked up contact with me again after we both left. Him and I used to flirt but I had moved on from it all as do much happened in the 12,months that we didn’t speak.
I found he would self deprecate in convos for sympathy saying he was fucking useless etc then would say I could be antagonistic when I’d say I’m not sure what to say. Then would say he’s trying to get to know my personal boundaries and at times gaslit me.
I’d had enough and sent this text.
I’ve had a think, and I’ve realised that these conversations feel far too convoluted and intense for me.
It probably isn’t your intention to be that way, but I don’t feel I’m the right person to support, you turn conversations into competitions, it’s unnecessary and when I call it out you start to self deprecate. You may not even realise that this is a pattern. But maybe it’ll help you realise in future exchanges.
As a friend, I wish you all the best.