DS(7) says he “likes violence” and wants to join the military

[HateHorridHenry]

I’m a bit worried about my 7yo DS. Ever since starting school, he has become more and more influenced by the behaviour of his peers - playing rough, imaginary guns, etc. We told
him that we don’t like this sort of play, but it’s become more frequent as he’s getting older.

We got him a Nintendo Switch for Christmas. At first he was happily playing racing games, Minecraft etc. Now his friends have encouraged him to play Fortnite with them. He is now happily running around shooting people and waxing lyrical about the different guns etc in the game.

This morning, he asked me if I know why he likes playing Fortnite. No? The answer: because I love violence. When I grow up I’m going to join the military.

I’m getting worried about this, surely that’s not normal?! Any advice?

Also - this may be a generalization, and possibly seen as sexist, but I would advise talking with men, when you see young boys doing something 'violent' that might seem unusual.

I saw a great example of this last summer where my cousin's children were playing together at a dolls house. Boy and a girl - the girl was playing calmly with figures in one of the rooms.. and the boy was smashing the figures together in a giant battle on the roof.

My cousin went to the group of adults asking if the boy's playing was normal, and her husband looked very confused and asked "how else is do you play with figures" - It became very clear that for the men, the default growing up was that games became about battles, regardless of the context or specific toys or story. None of the men in the family were violent or had any issues with violence growing up. But if you are used to playing gentle make-believe games, it can be a bit of a shock to see!

Well the rating for fortnite is Teen, 13+ so it's completely inappropriate that he's been playing it at all. I think lots of little boys think they want to be in the army until they are old enough to understand the reality of it.

My now 18 year old DD's first interest in a job at a similar age was as an Army Dog Trainer.

Not just a dog trainer, but an army one.

For context we have no dogs, or any recent military history in our family.

Just keep the screen use age appropriate and you will be fine.

I had to stop DS - also 7 - watching Minecraft on YouTube. He started with building videos but the algorithm brought up some foul videos - Shy Guy, Huggy Wuggy, Skibidi Toilets. It seems to lead into nasty things. He doesn’t have Fortnite and won’t for some time.

Well if he’s attracted to high-adrenaline situations including violence I’d honestly try to channel it rather than try to quash it, because that isn’t going to work. If he’s into guns, the military is a much better option than the alternatives.
For now, martial arts lessons will teach him respect and discipline alongside physical combat, and send him to cadets once he’s old enough.

Great parenting. Remove that piece of kit. No phones. Get him in a better school.