Self Discovery what does it actually mean

[Newyorklady]

Interested in your thoughts.
So a friend of a friend has posted on social media that she is still Finding herself.
She is late 50’s. She’s experienced some addiction issues I think reading between the lines.
It’s got me thinking what Finding yourself/Self discovery actually means.
Im a similar age and happily married with adult children. Had a very difficult childhood but.i have never felt the need to find myself. I think to some extent we could all find aspects of our lives we aren’t 100% happy with.
So for me I try to think about the good things.
So I’m intrigued what it actually means and why someone would say it. Am I missing something having never felt the need to find myself.
Im not close enough to her to ask her outright.
Does it mean being content with your life. Finding a purpose ?
Interested to hear from those of you who may have an understanding of this, or still finding yourself or found yourself.

I don’t really like the phrase ‘finding yourself’, I think it’s more finding what makes you happy and understanding yourself.

I think it’s more about finding your feelings, needs, wants, desires, preferences. If you’ve been brought up in an emotionally neglectful or emotionally abusive household, you end up people pleasing (parent pleasing) and wearing a mask to please others in an attempt to keep yourself small and emotionally safe. When you’re finally in a safe situation (either with people who are mature enough to accept you as you are, or on your own), you start to ‘hear’ yourself again and get more back in tune with your own real feelings.

It's understanding what you like, what you don't like.
It's working out what you're capable of.
It's working out what you want out of life.

Basically putting yourself in control of your life and destiny rather than being caught up in other peoples' plans/actions, taking responsibility for yourself, doing what you want to do, making your life the best it can be, for you!

I've done a lot of this work since leaving a toxic relationship. It's more about discovering myself and why/how I think/act like I do. Letting past trauma/conditioning go and not suppressing it for a later outburst. I think it's about growth as a person sometimes we just plod along in life and lose our dreams and aspirations just being us not really knowing who 'us' is and unaware of traits that affect our lives. I've found it an interesting journey and discovered parts of myself that I was unaware of and worked to correct.... for example burning myself out people pleasing..... there have been other discoveries but I hope this gives you an idea of what it means.

I'm not sure if actively phrase it that way but I also had a difficult childhood and as a consequence threw myself into simply surviving and creating stability as an adult not meaningfully considering who i am or how I've changed and in what ways.

In my thirties and approaching fourty I've found a great deal of personal growth has stemmed from deep consideration of that, letting go of things I believe about myself in absolutes (that may no longer be true, that perhaps someone else has told me about myself growing up or that was learned behaviour from an emotionally unhealthy home). Understanding past behaviours and choices and honestly appraising them without judgement and actively working towards better emotional health and a fuller life has been so transformative for me. We may not want our childhoods to have impacted us so deeply that they inform our behaviours, self esteem or confidence, but nonetheless they often have and confronting that is difficult but in the end (i've found) very freeing.

I'm 'still finding myself' I suppose because that process doesn't have a defined end point, there's always more to learn and try and we naturally will change again and again as we go through life.

Speaking as someone who is sober and a not dissimilar age group, it often means that someone is about to try to sell you a life coaching MLM. 😂

@Custarkagree with this.
I feel. Like it’s a mixture of these things:
Understanding what is important to you.
Understanding what you want to spend your time doing and why.
Thinking about which friendships fill your bucket and which sap you.
Recognising what society says you should want or should be doing may be different from what you want to do.
What purpose your life has and what you are aiming for (very different for different people).
Being able to listen to your instincts instead of suppressing them.