What age for solo train travel (short journeys met at either end).

[piscofrisco]

Would you let a 13 year old and an 11 year old take a train for 20 mins on their own going one stop only? If a parent dropped up and picked up either end?
we have a situation that involves us driving 2 hours 45 mins round trip in a morning for school run and and hour and a half evening 3 days one week, 4 the alternative week. (Dh’s ex wife moved an hour away and refuses to do more then 25% of the travel to enable the current child care schedule for DSS’s). It’s obvs having a negative affect on our work, finances and exhaustion levels for us all. However we have found there is a fast train that takes 20 mins between our two towns that will cost a fiver each for them. She would have to get them her end (15 min drive for her). It seems a good solution but she is saying they are too young.
For ref they go into town with their friends when at mums house etc, they have phones with trackers, they are generally not silly kids.

Of course at that age.

One of the nearest secondary schools
to me was 30 mins on the train. Loads of children trained daily alone from 11 years ( and then walked about 15 mins the other end alone or with other kids)

Yes of course my Dc were on public transport at thst age.

unless there’s a secret additional need you haven’t mentioned, they are not too young.
They should be able to manage a journey like this for school; why not to see a parent?

Of course. They should be more than capabale. How can your 13 year old have never been alone on a train? My kids are 13 and 11 as well. They have been taking a 45 minute train ride alone for over 2 years. I drop them at the station and their dad meets them in the city. Sometimes he can’t meet them so they make the change themselves; they get off the train from mine and onto the connecting train to his by themselves and take that 12 minute train out to his stop and walk to his house alone.

If your kids can’t do that when they are both pretty much high school age then you’ve gone wrong somewhere.

Of course it's fine.

Masses of dc in London get the tube to school every day.

My dc were taking the bus into town at age 11 and no one was meting them!

Yes of course. Secondary school age children regularly catch the train alone. My DC used public transport alone and with a friend or two from year 6 of primary school.

Absolutely fine. I suspect this objection has more to do with the ex-wife wanting to make life difficult for you and DH rather than any genuine concerns about child safety. Loads of secondary school children catch trains to school unaccompanied.

Of course! My DS was getting himself to/from school using a bus and a train in Y6.

They should be able to do this at nine or ten at the latest.
Kids from all over London travel to the grammar schools in Southend and Chelmsford every day. Tube - big train - bus or walk. 11 years old. I'm in awe but they do it just fine.

13?!? Of course they'll be fine. It's not like they're getting the last train on a Saturday full of drunks.

If she refuses could you not pop them on the train and prebook a taxi with a company that specialises in school runs to do the last leg?

Many many children including mine did this from age 11 and walked from the train station to school at the other end.

yes absolutely fine

I doubted myself for about half a second yesterday about my decision to send mine on the train. They're 13,11 & 9, the younger 2 still in primary, and they did a 40 minute journey, I put them on the train and my mum met them off it. I would have no qualms about sending a 13 and 11 year old.

What! I went to my first festival with friends at 14. You don’t know if a 13 yr old can take a train one stop. How bizarre

Of course that’s fine, indeed it’s a good age for them to start some independent travel using public transport.

Lots of kids are travelling to school by train at 11!

At 13 surely they should have the freedom to jump on public transport to meet friends etc? The 11 year old should be fine to do transport with pick up and drop offs- even more if with the 13 year old.

Seriously, children need independence introduced in stages throughout childhood/adolescence to develop into functioning adults. There shouldn’t be a short sharp transition that we seem to put on kids once they are nearly fully grown- no wonder they grow up with anxiety issues.

I would say from 11 is fine if you’ve practised the journey with them once beforehand and talked about what to do in case of any problems.

A child used to public transport could do it younger, my DC used the tube by themselves from age 10.

Aged 11 I would walk to the local station by , take the train to a major London terminus, change for the tube and take that seven stops to school. Reverse journey at the end of the day. It took an hour. Aged 13 I started doing it with my ten year old brother. Tens of thousands of London children still do that journey, or a very similar one, every day. If a non-SEN 13 and 11 year old can’t travel 20 minutes by themselves, picked up and dropped off at either end, I would say something has gone wrong with the parenting

I put ds alone on an unfamiliar 3 hour train journey with multiple stops at 11. So yes.

Yes, especially as there are 2 DC travelling together (unless the kids are the type to argue with each other, in which case no)

Do a practice run with them 1st so they know the changes etc, and they will need a phone in case of issues/delays

Agree that the other parent is probably trying to make life difficult vs them actually being too young

Yes (assuming no special needs). My children travelled by train to secondary school. Their journey involved walking to the station from home, a first train journey (up to 5 stops, depending on whether it was a fast or slow train), a second train journey, and a walk to school.

The oldest one was only just 11 when she started doing it (summer birthday) and she was absolutely fine.

Thanks all. I have no qualms about their ages and the appropriateness of the journey. There are no special needs. But I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t being lapse with their safety. The boys themselves have said they are fine with this. Their mum will not even discuss it. We will probably have to apply to court to vary the court order. But at least from this reaction on this thread it won’t be considered an outlandish proposal which is encouraging!
we can’t as a daily continue with the amount of driving we are doing.

If children of this age couldn't do this I would think there were either special needs or that their parents had failed them.

Oldest knew his way round by train and bus from quite a young age & was coming up to me by his early teens - with a change

Oh and mixing the routes as well so he could be collected from Dilton Marsh if possible

I suspect that your ex has 'issues'

Been there seen that done it

Loads of kids here get the train to school . There’s a high school that’s a bit further away so they all get the train . I imagine they are 11 when they start the high school .
I don’t think it’s any different to a bus ..

plus I am a firm believer in building a child’s independence on public transport . So many kids get ferried by car everywhere then they grow up and have never been on a bus or a train . Learn them from a young age and help them for later life .