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Original poster

Family Friends

11 replies

Twilightstarbright · 05/05/2025 07:21

DH and I were talking and we don’t really have any family friends- by that I mean friends who we could meet up with today and take the kids for a bike ride, visit the local play farm etc.

We have one DS (8) and we lived abroad, had lots of friends from NCT/other classes who we socialised with as a family but we moved back to where we grew up for school start.

The friends we do have either don’t have kids, or there’s a big age gap or the kids don’t get on. If I’m honest I’m not a huge fan of some of DH’s friends wives so I’m not hugely keen on hanging out but would be happy with a couple of hours at the splash park etc (not horrible people but main focus is on who has bought what and how much it cost or speculation on who has had Botox).

Maybe lots of people are like this and don’t have family friends?

No siblings/ cousins in this country.

OP posts:
Eldermillennialmum · 05/05/2025 07:27

We have a younger child and not many children in the family. Our DC has a few cousins but they all live at least a couple of hours away and only two of them are a similar age.

We are lucky we have local friends with kids the same age. I made some of the friends online when I was pregnant with DC but most live near us. There are a few children on our street and we are friendly with the families. I made a few friends through toddler and baby clubs.

Does your DS have school friends who you could invite to do something with his parents and make friends?

Original poster
Twilightstarbright · 05/05/2025 07:39

@Eldermillennialmum I’ve tried with DS’ two closest friends and not a vague brush off- they have 3 kids and their weekends seem full on so I think (hope!) it’s due to not being in the space of wanting to socialise rather than disliking me.

OP posts:
Beachwaves127 · 05/05/2025 07:42

I guess we are a bit like that. I’m not keen on DH’s friends wives (who have kids) but we meet sometimes for group bbqs etc. it’s a bit painful but dc likes playing with the kids. My friends are all scattered.

tbh I much prefer it just being DH and kids. We can then do what we want without being influenced by others.

I do have family however who will come up and help out or we have family bbqs etc (I don’t leave dc on their own it’s a group day)

lots of mum friends I say hi to on the high st from nursery but probably wouldn’t meet…

my dc are nursery age not school age so may change

I don’t think you’re alone but depends how you feel re my para two on how much it impacts you

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Wonderwall23 · 05/05/2025 08:00

DH has a big family...lots of local siblings who have children of a similar age to our (only) DS. I feel really lucky for DS from that perspective and we all get on well but it sort of fills my quota for this.

DH and I both have friends who have children, but we go out individually with our respective friends and don't involve the kids, which is my preference. Playdates for DS are always minus parents. Suits us.

If DS had a sibling I think we'd mostly do stuff just us.

OfTheNight · 05/05/2025 08:54

We made family friends trough DS football club. I was so relieved because DS is an only child and has no cousins. My friends’ children were either a lot older or a lot younger than him.

DS now has 3 very good friends and our families are all good friends too. We just did a day out at the seaside/water park and it was fab. All of us get along and all the boys are absolutely lovely.

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 05/05/2025 08:56

Same. But hanging with other couples / families isn’t our bag. We all have friends who we do things individually with, but not as families. And we like it this way.

Eldermillennialmum · 05/05/2025 09:21

Yes we do things more separately so DH will meet with the dads and I meet with my friends even though we know the families but as they're local it's nice to have people to do local things with and the kids can play together.

Original poster
Twilightstarbright · 05/05/2025 17:06

That’s just it @Eldermillennialmum it would just be nice to have people to do stuff with.

OP posts:
CarpetKnees · 05/05/2025 18:04

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 05/05/2025 08:56

Same. But hanging with other couples / families isn’t our bag. We all have friends who we do things individually with, but not as families. And we like it this way.

Same here.

When our dc were that age, we didn't hang out with other families with dc

Bike ride - we'd do as a family.
Picnic - occasionally came about through things we belonged to (our Church had an annual picnic and one of the football teams one dc belonged to had an 'end of season BBQ' then the Scout Group had an annual family activity day etc etc so we'd do things with families where other dc were with their families, but didn't arrange to do things specifically with other individual families.

DitzyDerbyBabe86 · 06/05/2025 11:03

CarpetKnees · 05/05/2025 18:04

Same here.

When our dc were that age, we didn't hang out with other families with dc

Bike ride - we'd do as a family.
Picnic - occasionally came about through things we belonged to (our Church had an annual picnic and one of the football teams one dc belonged to had an 'end of season BBQ' then the Scout Group had an annual family activity day etc etc so we'd do things with families where other dc were with their families, but didn't arrange to do things specifically with other individual families.

Show quote history

I’m glad it’s not just us. I like the fact we and we alone dictate what we do with our time. Don’t want other couples in the mix.
We’re more than happy just us 4, plodding along ☺️

francelis · 06/05/2025 13:15

We don't have family friends. We have dds aged 6 and 3. We've had a few play dates with school or nursery friends but we haven't gelled enough to want to hang out as families (often they are with the child and the nanny as most other parents work longer hours). At weekends we prefer to spend time as a family unit, as we need to fit in a couple of classes, and usually have a paid for activity booked (things like theatre shows and concerts, which are booked up to 6 months ahead). So it would be inconvenient to make arrangements with other people (and other families are as busy as we are, but with other things).

During school holidays dd1 is either on holiday or in a booked activity camp (most other families have dcs in childcare camps due to work). So not a lot of time to arrange meet ups really.

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