Do people tell the truth when they are on morphine?

[Firefly45]

A very good friend of mine just underwent massive serious surgery. I went to see her a few days later (she asked for me).

A family member warned me she was not herself because of the morphine and the nurse also told me lots of people turn bad tempered with the morphine.

My friend was horrible! Swearing, rude, aggressive, rude to nurses and told me several times to fuck off. It was shocking and scary and very unpleasant. I left because I'm not being spoken to like that and also thought maybe me being there was making it worse.

Ive been texting family but not been back yet. Family said she is now much more normal but still very poorly and in pain. She isn't being nasty now.

Family said they don't want her to know how horrible she was being and she has no recollection of it.

I feel really offended and shocked and hurt and like was this her true self?

Ive seen and been with other loved ones and never seen anyone I love turn nasty like this.
I feel selfish feeling shaken up and hurt by her. I also want to tell her when she's better what happened but obviously family have now told me not to?

Anyone any experience like this?

Get over yourself, OP. Your poor friend.

You’ll be on a very different dose, and you’re also not coming out of a long general anaesthetic after massive surgery at the same time.

You don't sound like a friend at all. I have vague memories of doing some whacky shit after being seriously ill including a UTI and morphine. The hospital or my friends and family never brought it up. I would have been extremely upset if they did. Big operations, strong drugs, unfamiliar people and places, not being able to walk is terrifying. Be kind

100% this.

It is completely normal, and not at all a reflection on her character. It highlights how poorly she is, and rather than be hurt or offended I would be worried sick if she was a friend of mine. Has she been thoroughly checked for infection? I would hope she is being carefully monitored, and I would go again tomorrow and check she is okay. Poor thing.

I'm currently sleeping over in a hospice with my dying mum. When she was conscious and on morphine she was hallucinating and has told my brother and I to fuck off numerous times. No, she's not herself and we forgive the horrible things she has said

Be a good friend and say nothing. Go visit her again.

Remember literally the point of the morphine is to alter what's going on in your brain. It doesn't mend the thing causing pain. It stops your brain feeling it. This is not some "in vino veritas" thing. It's like you asking if her leg (or whatever) is better now, because it didn't hurt while she was on morphine. And the answer is of course not, that was just the drugs.

I have had 16 operations, my usual reaction to morphine is to be blissed out - except once when I suddenly realised I was screaming and crying hysterically and had been for sometime.

My grandmother on morphine was convinced the nurses and doctors had kidnapped her and I was a hostage negotiator.

OP, you had a nasty surprise but it wasn't intended by your friend.

Give your friend the benefit of the doubt as the drugs do weird things to some people.

I felt like I was levitating after 1 dose. My mum kept complaining she was in prisoner cell block h and my dad was petrified because he thought he'd been taken to the morgue. For some it does weird things to them

Poor woman. She has done nothing to be forgiven for.

No morphine doesn't make people suddenly tell deeply hidden truths they've been sitting on and hiding for years.

It does make people behave oddly sometimes - in my case I just talk utter rubbish, endlessly... then throw up.

I do think some people are being a bit harsh to you here though - it is VERY upsetting to have someone you trusted and loved suddenly be extremely rude and aggressive or sweary (or both) to you.

Its all very well knowing why and knowing it isn't her fault, but that doesn't mean it isn't a shock, that it didn't upset you.

I've had some very random, uninhibited and slightly odd or uncomfortable conversations with my best friend whilst either she or I have been absolutely off our tits on pain meds, and we do both tell one another what we said later on when we're back to normal, and apologise to one another if we've been weird or upsetting in any way. We find it gets it dealt with, and we'd both rather know than not.

In your case, I'd go see her again when she's ready, and IF she asks you, be honest... if she doesn't, then say nowt. But do be kind to yourself as it is damn hard to deal with a loved one being seriously ill AND being really horrible to you, regardless of why. It still hurts!

That made me laugh 🤣🤣

Your making it about you and being oversensitive. Next time you see her she will be more herself

The one time I was given morphine in hospital I insisted to everyone my name was Shirley. It's not. When a porter came to collect me he got my name mixed up with another patient on his list and called me Shirley, and to me that was that, it was my name now. I was even correcting DH and it caused some confusion with medical staff.
I don't know why you are upset, you were told before you saw her the medication she was on was making her act in a way that's not herself and that's exactly what happened.

Sorry you are going through this. I hope you get your transplant soon, it is successful and you feel much better.

Don’t worry about the drugs, I’m sure you’ll be a sweetheart and if not they’ll know how to help you. I had morphine and honestly it was fantastic, not sure if I said or did anything but I felt great!

My Dd was a screaming mess after anaesthetic as a small child, she was screaming and crying for 3 hours. So not surprised that some people react badly to morphine, I love the stuff personally and turn into a peace and love hippy, which is definitely not my personality but can well believe some people have extremely bad reactions.

Of Course, it’s a massively strong drug! When I was on it I thought I was Angelina Ballerina the dancing bloody mouse. I also told my mum to tell the horses in the corner to shut the fuck up.

I was 10.

When my sister was on it she was convinced that she was at her DGC's school and there was a man throwing bags of blood at them. Nothing we said could convince her otherwise and she she was adamant that we were part of his "gang".

I loved it when I had it. I guess in another life I am a smack head. When I saw my dad after his op, he thought I was my mum (we do look the same) and said “maybe we should’ve given it another go”… lucky his Mrs wasn’t there yet. DP had it and when I held his hand he told me to get off him and that if “my Mrs sees you doing that she will batter you” which was very funny and true.

I remember my grandmother freaked out on it. Like proper freaked. She had never done drugs or been drunk before, so I think maybe that had something to do with it but I’m not sure. I don’t think it brings out your true self, I think it makes you delirious. I imagine if you’re nerve been high or in an alter state before it’s probably really scary. Maybe that’s what happened with your friend?

With kindness, you’re making this about yourself unnecessarily. Does it perhaps remind you of another time you’ve felt disrespected or mistrustful in your life perhaps? Just wondered if that’s why you’ve reacted this way. It’s dredged up something from your past maybe? Hope your friend is okay and makes a speedy recovery.

On a wider note, OP, I think the concept of "true self" has a lot to answer for.

If your friend has behaved in a kind and caring way towards you for years on end, this one horrible incident - very out of character and in the context of having taken strong drugs she will rarely, if ever, have again - is very unlikely to
(1) reveal a deep "truth" about who she is generally,
(2) reveal what she would say all the time if she were free of social restraint, or
(3) tell you what she actually thinks of you ordinarily.

I would say it must speak to a deep human fear of betrayal or deceit to worry that this just how she'd behave if she had free rein and could choose. I think it's much more rational to observe that most animals in exceptional distress and fear (particularly having taken mind-altering drugs!) will lash out aggressively out of that fear.

People do this sort of 'true self' malarkey the other way round, too, don't they?
"Oh he behaves like a total bastard but really I know that deep down he's a lovely, kind, scared little boy!" on the basis of the occasional bit of niceness thrown in amongst all horrendous behaviour.

In other words people tell themselves a story based on other people's behaviour and often look to the least common parts of it for 'truth'! I think that's human nature really - to look for the hidden danger - but very likely to lead you astray in situations like these where there truly are exceptional circumstances.

#TeamExtendYourDruggedUpFriendSomeGrace!

My Mum was like this after a general anesthetic (I'm fairly sure she didn't have morphine). She was aggressive and rude to me and I remember crying all the way home. I hadn't realised it was the drugs until later and my nurse SIL explained. Obviously I don't hold it against her.
I've had morphine, didn't do a thing for me not even pain relief, very disappointed!!

My mother had morphine followed by kidney failure and was in a renal unit. The consultant and nurses warned us that her behaviour might be different as was often the case when morphine was circulating in the body without being filtered out. My mother said so many things that we knew she wouldn't normally. You just have to forget it.

I react similarly when on morphine! I remember visiting my DF after he had surgery and was on it for quite a while. He seemed to lose all inhibitions and have significant delusions. He would tell me about dancing along the hospital corridors with the nurses in the night, would try to remove his pyjamas in bed, would shout out at other patients. He was such a quiet man that it really had me worried! Once he was off the morphine he slowly returned to his usual self