Who should expect an invite for a christening?

[GentleSloth]

Planning my daughters and trying not to offend anyone in regards to invites.

I invited parents and godparents then others based on location. So one setting of aunt and uncle and not others because it would be far for them. Same for friends. Anyone would have been welcome but I wouldn't have wanted anyone to feel they were expected to travel.

It was our normal Sunday morning service then with anyone who had come specially back to ours for a buffet and cake

Your grandparents, parents, siblings (and their families). The godparents.
I wouldn’t invite more than that, it’s a family event rather than a party in my eyes.

I think it depends on what you have planned. I would think close family and godparents. And then beyond that, who can you cater for?

Close family and godparents you can easily go back to your home or grandparents for sandwiches and cake.

If you want to invite loads of friends, your NCT group, work colleagues, grandparents’ neighbours, etc then you’ll need the space and food to feed them.

We did parents, siblings and their families and godparents and families. Then back to our house for sandwiches etc. Not our extended families or non-godparent friends. I've been to a couple as part of a wider friendship circle but nowhere near as many as weddings.

As few people as possible christenings are dull unless your religious don't put more people then you need to through that

This is the exact people I thought was appropriate, but didn’t want to offend friends or other family

But that depends entirely on your friends and family. Everyone has their own expectations and there aren't rules you can go by.

I appreciate that but am just trying to make it a small celebration.

Which is absolutely fine. I'm just saying nobody here can second guess your wider family and tell you if they are likely to take offence about it or not.

As someone who lives a few hours away from most family. Not inviting the ones who don't live near you only serves to make them feel even more ostracised.
Invite them but let them know it's not mandatory. Let them decide if it's important enough for them to spend the time to visit or not. Give them the choice rather than make the choice for them.

thank you for this didn’t think of it like that

Count me in.
Where is it?
Prosecco for a toast?
Note: I do like a nice fresh (no curly edges) ham sandwich in white bread.

Priest (vicar), child’s parents and godparents are all that’s required.

Only godparents should expect an invitation. You might also invite grandparents, if they are fit and well enough to attend. Huge christenings with lots of guests are a bit tacky.

Agree with this. It’s a celebration of faith not a family get together.

Depends on your family/friends' culture and habits, to a degree. If it's one where Christenings are a big deal and everyone has a huge bash, then you may ruffle feathers with a smaller one (though it's still totally fine if that's what you want). If there's not a clearly established precedent, you can be pretty flexible and most people won't mind - I think there's a lot less politics and expectations around Christenings than weddings.

We didn't baptise our children but had Thanksgiving services instead (similar idea but without making promises on their behalf). Invited both our sets of parents, our siblings and partners, and all our aunts and uncles, but not cousins etc. Didn't invite any friends. Several of the aunts and uncles couldn't make it, so I think we had about 20 people both times.

Varies so much! I run a church and they vary from 4 adults (parents and godparents) to 70 - and no they didn’t warn us and the guests were rude and talked during the main part of the service

Oh my goodness!!

None are practising, but were raised in practising households.

One of my best friends is a vicar
She once had to halt proceedings as the children were so unruly. Throwing the hymn books around the church, bringing food in, shouting and running about. She gave a five minute warning and said everyone back to their seats.
Then the parents turned on her. Baaing loudly when she was telling the story of the Good Shepherd, calling her names.
She threw everyone out and did the ceremony with just the baptism child and his grandparents and godparents.
Then she told me she went and cried in the vestry. We had had our normal Sunday service just an hour before and someone had had their Golden wedding and brought a lovely cake. She saw the remnants of the cake and it set her off remembering what a lovely time we had all had just moments before and then she had been made to feel so crap and vulnerable in her own church. And then she spent the afternoon clearing up the mess.

I did a big event and basically invited everyone that I would to a wedding from my side, partially as I wasn't going to have a wedding any time soon (fiance left when I as pregnant) and I loved having a big day, everyone meeting my baby and dressing up in a lovely dress first time I'd felt glam since giving birth. I hired the church hall and did sandwiches and prosecco and cake in there

Plenty of non religious people came to mine with their families and had a lovely day - the ceremony was interesting for big kids who'd never been to one before, we have a funny vicar, and they loved all the sandwiches and cakes after. A great chance for everyone to catch up. Don't give op a complex her friends may not be as Scrooge like as yours. I would be equally interested to attend similar of another religion btw.
Christenings are a million times better than a baby shower in my opinion!!

Ps op I've just seen you're trying to make it a small celebration - if so then go ahead. Your friends won't be offended to not be invited if it's just something for immediate family just like they wouldn't be offended you didn't invite them to lunch on Easter Sunday etc

I agree - you're very very l invited but absolutely no pressure as we know it's a long journey

@QuickPeachPoet - what an awful thing to happen, some people ought to be kept in cages and not let out with reasonable folks.