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Birthday gift for ex-colleague/friend

5 replies

enkelt2 · 03/05/2025 18:49

I'm going to a birthday party of an ex-colleague whom I consider a friend. It's a BBQ house party. We've both quit since and met up a couple of times to hang out after quitting. We're not super close as in not texting every day but we share things sometimes in a group chat.

I'll be bringing drinks/snacks to the party but gift wise, what's the protocol here? I don't know them well enough to really know what they'll like for a gift. But I also don't think a gift card (for what?? grocery shopping??) is the best idea. I asked another ex colleague and she said just some drinks are fine.

Any suggestions??

OP posts:
PoodlesRUs · 03/05/2025 18:50

I'd say drinks are enough. I don't think adults really do birthday gifts unless it's close family, close friends or a big birthday.

enkelt2 · 03/05/2025 18:52

PoodlesRUs · 03/05/2025 18:50

I'd say drinks are enough. I don't think adults really do birthday gifts unless it's close family, close friends or a big birthday.

Ooh... it's a 30th!!!

OP posts:
mindutopia · 03/05/2025 18:55

Unless it was a BBQ just with my close family, I wouldn’t expect people to bring gifts. I think a bottle of something (AF if she doesn’t drink) is plenty. I wouldn’t expect snacks. They’ll be catering for everyone. I mean I personally would be thrilled with a houseplant, but you have to know if she’s a houseplant sort of person. Otherwise, just a bottle of something is fine.

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enkelt2 · 03/05/2025 18:57

houseplants sounds like a great idea, thank you!!

OP posts:
PoodlesRUs · 03/05/2025 18:59

Probably need to go for something generic if you don't know her so well: fancy alcohol for keeping after her party (might be hard to make that clear during the party if it's busy when you arrive), chocolates, flowers (perhaps with a vase if she doesn't have one), candle, a plant. Of course some people dislike generic presents but you can't please everyone and they are generally seen as a safe inexpensive gift.

Some people do restaurant/Just Eat vouchers but those are tricky as sometimes they don't cover the full cost and you don't want to give a present that costs the recepient. If you generally meet for coffee you could give a card with a coffee shop giftcard?

The above can all be mixed and matched if you think one isn't enough.

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