I posted this on AIBU but realised it was the wrong place. I would really appreciate some advice.
Long term friendship of 9+ years. Sometimes we will see each other weekly, others we may go a year+ without meeting up (due to kids, work, life!) We always share major life events even though sometimes it may take them a while to reply - a few days to a week-or-so. I only mention the reply delay because as I’m an “instant replier” to everyone (if I don’t reply NOW I will forget and never reply 🤣) so there could be a conflict in approaches and I don’t want to drip feed.
Last year we went through a “close phase” talking, texting and meeting regularly. They were sharing about the stresses in their life (marriage issues, child struggling with mental health due to exams and work stresses. They felt like there wasn’t one part of their world that wasn’t causing stress). They said I was very supportive and they didn’t know what they would do without my listening ears etc. These issues seem to have increased over and since Christmas, to the extent that they will say they will call at X time/day and then won’t. Or will say something like “life is crazy will send a longer message later” and then complete silence for weeks until I message again. When I do speak to her (I think) it is clear they are overwhelmed and struggling. Easter weekend and yesterday I sent two very low pressure “Hope you are ok” type messages and haven’t received a reply.
I did some reading on the internet about how to support friends who withdraw when they are overwhelmed and struggling, but I am a “sharer” so this is all very alien to me. I wondered if you wonderful ladies had any ideas?
Also while I am very aware it isn’t about me I struggle with overthinking and worry that I might have done something to upset them or they have suddenly decided to end the friendship. I have been back through messages etc and can’t see anything but 🤷🏻♀️