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Original poster

Feeling really low and alone

10 replies

rhi4 · 30/04/2025 12:37

Sunday my husband of 23 years completely blindsided me by saying he has had enough and that's it done.
I have 4 children 3 of which live at home and my whole life has been him and my children.
I suffer with depression and anxiety. I have no one to turn to.
I'm so alone and scared of life

OP posts:

Withershins · 30/04/2025 16:04

I can't offer anything, other than sending my hopes that things will get better for you.

TheNuthatch · 30/04/2025 20:05

I'm so sorry OP. You must be devastated and heart broken. Do you have any family you could call for support? It might be worth asking MN to move your thread to the relationships board. There may be more support for you there. As impossible as it sounds right now, you must put yourself first now and start building a life for you. Try and stay strong, and start thinking of your next steps. 💐

TheNuthatch · 30/04/2025 20:14

Bump

MyDreamyRoseOrca · 30/04/2025 20:48

Hi OP. Sorry to hear this. No real advice but maybe someone on here has some. X I can say from experience though that you will get through this.

Ilovelurchers · 30/04/2025 20:52

Oh, you poor thing. It must feel awful. But these feelings WILL pass.

Try to take solace in the blessings you have. Your wonderful children. Anyone else in your life who makes you happy.

Just focus on getting through the days for now. Sometimes, just making it through is enough.

Well done for reaching out on here. There are many people out there who have gone through similar horrible situations who can provide support.

It will get better. Meanwhile, be kind to yourself. Xxx

Beentheretoo62 · 30/04/2025 21:00

Is it definitely over between you ? Would your husband be prepared to try counselling? Is there someone else on the scene. This is the time you need to confide in close friends or family and draw in their support - someone who will understand who is close to you. Has your husband suggested how this might pan out for you both in terms of how he sees the immediate future?

Itsjustsodepressing · 30/04/2025 22:19

I'm so sorry OP.

Awful for you.

Are you receiving treatment for your anxiety and depression? Perhaps you could talk to your GP or health care professional and they would be able to give you some support?

Wolfiefan · 30/04/2025 22:25

OP I’m so very sorry. What treatment are you having for the anxiety and depression?

Icantstandupforlyingdown · 30/04/2025 22:27

You should ask for this to be moved, and maybe change the title to say 'Husband says its over,
3 kids at home' as I've seen posters give very practical advice on this really sad topic.

I do think you need to talk to someone in real life, and see your doctor as it's impacting your anxiety and depression. You need to decide if you would take him back or not, though you may not have a choice if he has a new partner.

You need to see a solicitor too, to see what you're next steps should be, and you need to put and your children's financial security first. Even the nicest men can get very combative in a seperation, it becomes a battle and the less you get, the more they've won.

Idoubtitwillchangemuch · 30/04/2025 22:53

Hi op, I’m so sorry that you are going through this intense stress.

Agree you should move this to relationships so that you can benefit from everyone’s collective wisdom,

Can you possibly try and get extra emergency help from the gp for your depression and anxiety so you can boost yourself up and focus on your own wellbeing and your dc during this horrific period?

Your dh may have been planning this for a while so the the best thing that you can do now is to summon up all of your courage and not show any weakness or tears in front of him. Give the outer appearance of being very strong if you can. Pretend that you accept what is happening but keep in mind that he is not your friend now. Do not let him dictate how this pans out. Be proactive yourself and go and see a lawyer and find out where you stand financially.

And report and ask to move this thread so people can talk you through the practical aspects of finding documentation relating to mortgage and bank accounts and lawyers etc.

You will be ok 💐

Sometimes it is said that depression can be a sign that you are living the wrong sort of life, so you never know, even though you feel wretched now, this could be the start of a different and better life for you. Keep strong and try not to be afraid. Anyone who is raising four dc is strong and resilient and you have many life skills and inner resources to draw on.

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