Should we try for a third baby?

[MaybeBabyOneMoreTime]

I'm feeling so conflicted.

DH and I are 37, two children who are 6 and 4. 4 year old starts school in Sept.
The feelings of wanting another have been there for years now. But it's seriously heightening. Like it hurts.

Pros
We can afford it
Childcare isn't an issue, I'm a SAHM
Id love another
Kids are old enough now for it not to be a juggling act all the time.
Conceiving our children was easy and pregnancy was fine.

Cons
We'd either have to build a summer house for DHs office and turn the office into a bedroom or two kids would have to share
I'm worried the third would feel left out
The more exciting holidays we are thinking about would need to be shelved for a few more years
DH has agreed to it but wouldn't be going for another if it was up to him.

I'm so torn.

I’ll be stopping at two as I’ll be 39 by the time my second arrives so I’m sure people in the same boat as you will give their opinion, however… I would have loved time to have had a third child, and I would ask yourself, would you rather regret having a third or not having a third (fwiw I’m sure you wouldn’t regret any of your children!) the bedroom/office situation wouldn’t personally be enough of a reason for me to not have another child, and you could always stick to UK holidays for now while the youngest is little. I’m probably unintentionally projecting my own wants onto you lol so apologies if it’s coming across like that, but you sound like you really want another, and when they’re in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond I think you’d be so happy that you did it!

You sound in a good place to have three and have been thinking about it for a few years so it obviously isn’t a random whim. We had our third with similar age gaps to you and it’s been great. It gave me a bit of space and calm with the baby while my older two were at school (until covid anyway). He doesn’t feel left out at all, he has really lovely relationships with both his siblings so they end up in different pairings all the time. And after the baby and toddlerhood stages the youngest grows up a bit and they just become a pack of three children. Perhaps we haven’t done as adventurous holidays as we might have, but my middle one is very fussy so that’s just as limiting as the fact that we have three. My eldest and I are going away for a little trip together shortly, which is something neither of her brothers would be interested in, so you find ways of carving out time separately for them or just doing things that you will enjoy together. For us having a third was also an idea that didn’t go away, and after about three years we got sick of thinking about it and realised that we were always going to regret it if we didn’t do it. Our third is an absolute joy and I’m not exaggerating to say that nearly every day my husband or I say how glad we are that he’s here. He’s almost 6 now and he’s had four of us who love him so much from day one. I won’t lie and tell you that it’s easy. It pushes me to my absolute limits of mental and emotional strength and I definitely could not have another one. But I know it is right for us and (most of the time) I love the variety and chaos that it brings. Less so the noise, mess and washing.

Given you can afford it and are a SAHM so the logistics are straightforward… I think I’d probably go for it.

Holidays you can do any time, and building an office isn’t too difficult.

It sounds like it’s what you want, and there’s no great practical reason not to - so go for it! Unless your husband isn’t truly on board.

My advice is not impartial as I’m also 37 and have a 3 week old third baby (older two almost 4 and almost 2).

Gosh I'd so want one and I thought you'd all say no!

I worry that DH would resent it

It sounds like you really want a third OP and in your circumstances I think they'd slot in really well.. do you think your DP has just agreed to apease you if you're worried about resentment ?

Yes. 100% and he's very open about it, he would only be agreeing because I want it.