Constant crying 2 months on

[TheLandslideWillBringItDown]

I lost my lovely mum unexpectedly in February. It was an enormous shock and the trauma of the 10 days we spent in hospital with her before she died has taken some time to work through.
Ive been pretty resilient throughout and focused on the day to day needs of my family (3 DC aged 8 and under) and struggled to come to terms with my emotions and find the time to grieve.

In the last week or so it's like a dam has broken. I am so unbelievably sad. Everything makes me cry. I just want to listen to sad songs and cry. I'm struggling to sleep at the moment and just now felt overwhelmed by emotions just stroking the cat and thinking of how much I love her.

Is this normal? I have lifelong depression for which I'm medicated but frankly I feel unhinged at the moment.

Hi @TheLandslideWillBringItDown
I'm still awake and I too am stroking my little black cat as she lsys purring on my legs.
I'm so very sorry to hear about your dear Mum.
Her death must have been a terrible shock and you would have had to carry on as you have young children to care for.
Resilience and being focused on the lives of your family is a natural response and is commendable, however it can only take you so far through the immediate weeks after your terribly sad loss.

I think it's very normal that you have reached a point where you can't stop crying, as you need time to grieve and it sounds as if you've been steadily pushing forward for your family's sake and not giving yourself time to rest and grieve properly.
This would be too much for anyone and you say you are on medication for depression.

I hope someone with more experience having gone through this themselves, can suggest something to help.
Of course this is normal, and I hope that you have people close to you that can give you the time you need to process your loss in the way that feels good and natural to you.
I hope you are able to sleep and I offer you a handhold across the miles.
Remember, there's no limit to the amount of time you personally need to grieve the loss of your dear mum.
Do what you need to do, go where you need to go, do the things you need to do, to help towards healing yourself.
Sending you a hug 💐♥️

Hello, my Mum died after a very short cancer diagnosis when Iwas 29, she got taken into hospital with an infection and died unexpectedly 8 days later. I didn't have caring responsibilities like yourself but in the immediate aftermath I was dealing with job changes and redundancy/ a house renovation (we moved 4 weeks before she died) and looking after my grieving Dad without any help as an only child.

2 years later I'm not sure how I did it. I did compartmentalise my feelings but my biggest lows came 3-4 months after when everyone has gone back to normal but you're only just processing what happened. I felt like walking through fog. It dominated every waking moment and I miss her every day. People told me how brave and strong I was but really when you have responsibilities, what can you do? It was the most random things that broke me, Grief just knocks you out when you least expect it.

Ignore what anyone says about stages of grief. There is no normal timeline and feelings change over time. It's not linear and brutal. You will have lighter days and they will come.

Do look after yourself when you can. I honestly just focused on the next day or maybe week as anything else felt too overwhelming.

Do talk aboit your Mum to your little ones, I hope they help you through.

Do seek support. Family or friends? There's Cruse or Sue Ryder as good support services. Counselling. Podcasts such as the Grief Gang. Some good instagram communities like Untangle Grief.

Oh love. I’m 3 years in and still cry a lot. Initially I felt like I coped well, but it’s been very up and down for me since. Keep talking, know you’re not alone, and be kind to yourself x

Thank you so much 💐

Oh! So sad for you! It all sounds harrowing and new and raw. I'm a year on from DH's death and sometimes it's all ok but other times the smallest things can bring me to tears. I'm always a bit surprised TBH - like, Oh! This is going to make me cry.
As I said, I'm a year on from it all so don't be surprised if unexpected things take you over the edge.
Hang in there and sorry for your loss xx