I just feel so broken right now.

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

DS (12) has ADHD and autism plus the joys of puberty. Today he was playing a computer game with his older brother when his brother targeted him. He then beat hell out of his brother. When I took his iPad off him he shoved me and I fell over. He then went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. He was trying to cut himself with it but also pointed it at me. At this point I dialled 999. We spoke to the ambulance dispatcher who said a clinician will call us back.

I’m not with their dad so I messaged him and asked if he could take him overnight because I needed everyone to be safe. DS had calmed down by now and has been sobbing, saying that he doesn’t want to go to his dad’s, that dad shouts at him and he feels threatened by his dad. (This is news to me as normally I get told how he hates living with me and wants to live with his dad).

DS is currently sat outside in his dad’s van sobbing and I just feel terrible.

Hi there OP. We've moved this thread into Chat for you now. Hopefully you'll get some quick responses here.

sorry you are going through this. it must be so difficult for you. I see you posted a few hours ago and haven’t had any replies yet. I hope your older son was not too badly hurt and is doing ok.

has anything like this happened before? I see you are not with their dad, but is he supportive to you with regards to your children? Did your son give an explanation as to what triggered him to be so violent?

is there anything going on at school that could have caused him to have an outburst like this?

Thank you for replying. Sadly these episodes are becoming more and more common. His MH isn’t great and he is so angry all the time. As he gets bigger the violence is increasing.

His dad is a twat who puts the blame on me for everything and makes out he never has these behavioural problems with him.

I’m really bruised from where he pushed me and I hate feeling scared of my own son. I love him dearly. I have MH issues myself and I dropped the ball massively last year regarding his behaviour because I was so unwell. Which I’m sure had an impact on him and adds to mum guilt.

Such an awful situation.

You did well to show that you won't tolerate that behaviour in your house and that he needs to leave (to a safe place - his dad's)

I hope you get the support you need to navigate your way through this.

He needs to live with his dad for a while, who presumably he can't emotionally manipulate like he can with you.

What an awful situation. Sending love and prayers. However, someone needs to change. He needs more intensive help, as you cannot be out yourself and the rest of the family in this level of danger, it’s scary.

Thanks everyone. I’m still feeling shaken up and barely slept. I’m tempted to take a day off work but I’ve only been back for 2 months after 4 months off sick (because of MH issues). I can’t think.

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How is your older child who as you say 'had the hell beaten out of him" I'm hoping he's not been forgotten about in 12 yos now crying.
Am assuming he's bruised and marked. Probably a good idea to contact school to give them a heads up, and hopefully they will offer support too.

My older child is fine thankfully and knows he’s not forgotten about.

@MyGhastIsFlabberedthis all sounds so hard for you, please don’t blame yourself. I have an autistic teenage daughter and mix of autism and teenage hormones is incredibly hard to deal with.
Have you reached out to the social services children’s disability team for an assessment? Just wondered if you may be able to get some respite put in place to give you a break?
Take care and try to look after yourself as best you can x

I’ve spoken to the safeguarding team and his teacher today. We’re getting a plan together of sorts but I can’t say I’m not apprehensive about him coming home from school. His iPad is off limits now and I know that will kick things off again but it’s got to be done.