"pretty good"

[inigomontoyahwillcox]

Just gauging opinion, and I'm being intentionally vague so as not to influence your response.

If someone said you were "pretty good" at something you thought you excelled at, would you take it as an insult or a compliment?

Too little information to gauge. I mean, my first question is whether the person making the comment is an expert in whatever it is — are they a good judge of your competence?

As good a judge as I am - equally experienced in the activity I'm referring to.

(actually, come to think of it, I'm more experienced and have received more training - appreciate that doesn't necessarily better at it, but more aware of what constitutes good and bad - and everything in between)

I would take it as a complement

Depends on context - tennis that I play as hobby, compliment.

My job, I’d be a little irritated.

Pointless thread/question.
It depends who is saying it and their history/dynamic with the other person, it depends on tone and the wider context of the conversation

It's a turn of phrase. If spoken then I would take it as being 'on it' in terms of knowing what you are doing and said to reassure someone about that. If written in an appraisal by someone else I'd say its too casual and unclear at what it means and could read as mediocre .

If they’re stereotypically British then it would be the highest praise ever… or equally could be a passive aggressive sideswipe.

Why does their opinion matter so much? If it’s twanged something in you then that twang is about your feelings not their motivations and that’s a more helpful focus.

Totally depends on tone and the person, and what it’s said in response to. For some people, saying x is pretty good at something is muted code for “they’re brilliant but I’m doing British underplaying / modesty”. If it’s intended to imply “not yet really good” someone would often say “pretty good, still working on x”.

I'd be hard-pressed to find that insulting unless the person was generally a twat looking to annoy me. That's no context here, and context is everything.

Did Larry David say it?

It depends what “excels” means. I would say anybody with a 3hr marathon time was a “pretty good” runner but I’d only say “Paula Radcliffe used to be pretty good” if I was deliberately understating.

Fair enough. It might be me being hypersensitive. For further context it was in a hobby that we both do, it was my DH that said it, and he is well known for being demonstrative in his compliments to others.

So what’s the issue, exactly? You think that ‘pretty good’ doesn’t reflect your level of achievement, and are wondering whether they’re being deliberately dismissive? Or they’re just not a particularly effusive person?

Cross-posted with you.

I didn’t think it reflected my level of achievement, and his is usually effusive.

I mean, he may be speaking the truth, and I’m just deluded in my talents/capabilities! Just made me feel a bit shit about my achievements in something that it took a lot of pushing (by myself) to start doing again after a very long hiatus (and he knows that).

Depends more on the tone of voice and expression than anything, it may mean they think you are really really good. I've been known to say not bad with a huge smile, when someone has done something excellent, they knew what I meant.

It depends entirely on the context and the person and your relationship with them.

For some people it would be a huge compliment, other times it could be a deliberate insult.

It was more “hmmm, you’re pretty good” than “wow, that was pretttty good!”). Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that there was elements of me being hypersensitive and him being insensitive. I am known to be hypercritical of myself so I think can react disproportionately when faced with perceived criticism.

I will try to forget it and carry on regardless - the activity in question gives me a lot of pleasure (once I’ve dealt with the nerves!).

If it's something you both do, are you better than him at it and he's trying to downplay how good you are?

Yes