Unplanned pregnancy

[Mum2boys2023]

I have just found out I'm pregnant, it's unplanned. My husband and I have 2 boys 5 and 2 who we love dearly. They haven't come without their challenges, the youngest still wakes frequently each night.
My husband and I always agreed 2 was our number. My husband is not a hands on dad and is not very involved with the kids. My period was 2 days late (not unusual). I decided to take a test and there staring back was 1-2 weeks pregnant. I was devastated. My reaction is based on the little to no support I get from my husband. The 1st year with both our boys was very difficult. I BF and they didn't sleep, which meant neither did I. I told my husband I took a test and it was positive. He instantly didn't want it. No words of reassurance, no physical touch just straight onto the laptop to book an abortion appointment.
I know my reasons for not having a third are down to how uninvolved he is as a dad...but if I was with someone else who was supportive it wouldn't cross my mind to have an abortion. I don't really know what I'm asking. I'm heartbroken at the situation and I guess wanting advice. What do you do in this situation?

It sounds like you want to keep the baby. Is that right, would you say?

I was shocked to discover I was expecting a third. But even in the earliest weeks I thought of the pregnancy as a baby and not as dividing cells.

If it wouldn't cross your mind in other circumstances ....

I have three children and six grandchildren now.

Your husband is useless but what about other areas of your life (with him out of it).
Do you have stable employment and the ability to support a family of 4 if you were to split? Do you have real life support? How are your finances?
This marriage is pretty dead so I would start planning for life beyond it - just depends how many children you will/can be taking along with that - 2 or 3.

Who had agreed to be responsible for contraception??

I mean if he was so bad a husband I wouldn't have had a second with him. Either way we wanted 2 ended up with final twin pregnancy and never once was an abortion suggested. We have 4 wonderful little ones who we adore and work well together parenting

I am very pro choice. I always said 2 was it but the thought of terminating a pregnancy is really starting to play on my mind, I feel awful about the idea of it. We're married, have enough space in our home and financially like any household another child puts pressure on you. I knew how my husband would react. He has ignored me since. It now as if it's my fault and problem (despite me saying since December get a vasectomy, by periods have now returned since stopping BF). I think it could break us either way, whatever decision is made

Your update is so sad. Sending a hand hold and a hug ❤️
I would take time to think about what you want. It's your body. Your husband sounds controlling and emotionally abusive which I don't think I could get past regardless of the decision.
How you've not sunken into some kind of resentment dynamic for being left with your 2 kids to manage on your own, I don't know. But it'll come at some point. Uninvolved from birth he'll never be the dad you want him to be no matter how many children you have. Sorry you're in this position.

How's it going, OP?

Keep the baby and lose the useless man?

Are you me? Although my DH was a hands on dad.