DS - Can’t speak language abroad

[LangoLanguage]

Sorry for the long post. Myself and my husband have a 2 year old son and currently we live in London. I was born and raised in the UK and he was born and raised in Zurich and moved here for work.

We regularly go to Zurich often and have recently decided we would like to try and find jobs there and move there. In his industry this is quite common and he is a citizen so has all the passports etc, and for a while I’d be a SAHM. We have a lot of friends and nearly all family there.

We both naturally speak to my son in English, although we have been trying with German more and more. The state schools in Zurich are pretty great and we’d quite like to send him to one if we moved (as opposed to international school) and he’d start with a few days at age 3.

Is this a stupid idea? Sending him to school that speaks a language he doesn’t understand? Friends have said at this age they’re like sponges and absorb, but im
worried. This is also a future problem as we haven’t even moved!

ETA I tried to post this but it crashed so hopefully it hasn’t posted two separate threads!

Fabulous opportunity for him. I'm jealous!

The younger they start the better. And what an amazing gift to give him, the ability to speak two languages. Though is he a just turned two or nearly three because if he is older and his dad starts speaking German to him he might find it odd he suddenly can’t understand him!

I’m in Ireland and my children started in Irish speaking Playschool and on to Irish speaking primary school. They picked it up very quickly but most of the children were in the same boat.

I also volunteer at a conversational English class with asylum seekers and the people I talk to kids pick up terrific English within months of starting school. I spoke with one girl of 8 who had been here for a year and honestly you could barely hear that she had a foreign accent anymore. Kids capacity for learning languages is incredible.

Kids come to secondary schools with very little English.It's amazing how well they speak after even a few weeks. And remember communication isn't just spoken words.

My niece (started school last year) is half Spanish, lives in the UK, and her Dad only speaks to her in Spanish. She doesn't speak much Spanish yet but 100% understands the conversation. When speaking to her Spanish relatives she still replies in English when they speak to her in Spanish but she has begun coming out with random (but appropriate) phrases in Spanish at home. I think she does join in the chat when they are in Spain. My sister finds it useful to answer awkward questions in Spanish when my niece asks loudly in English when in public 😅

Thank you for this vs a lot a PMs I received questioning why he doesn’t already solely speak German…! He’s just turned 2 last month so relatively little! Doing bath time tonight in German!

Oh how exciting!! Where in Germany?

My nephew moved to the UK aged 5 and didn’t speak English at all. It took him about a year to become totally fluent.

My DF from NCT is Spanish and spoke to her DD only in Spanish. I guess we saw her and her DD once or twice a week. She spoke to me and my DD in English, it was only when she was specifically speaking just to her DD that she spoke Spanish. If she was speaking to both children, she would say the same thing in Spanish then English. My DD aged 2 just suddenly started joining in and replying in Spanish to my DF when she spoke to her DD in Spanish. She just picked up the language with no effort 🤷‍♀️

That’s a brilliant approach (and will help me learn German too if my DH does that approach!) thank you for sharing

As I understand it you should continue to speak to him in English (unless perhaps you also speak German as your native tongue). Presumably you want him to keep up with English once you move?

What’s your first language? Learning other languages at a young age is a great idea!

My son had a friend at primary school who came here from France in year 3 and didn't speak English. His first few weeks were tricky because he didn't understand what was going on in class and his mum came in with him for a few weeks to get him settled. He came to tea and we managed with sort of miming and a few words of my schoolgirl French! He and my son played lovely together even with the language difficulties. He soon picked up english and within a year was practically fluent. He's thrived and excelled at school and Uni and is now a very successful engineer ☺️ I'd go for it, at 3 your little one will pick up German in no time!

We live in German speaking country. Dh and I Speak English at home. Ds was born here. He started kindergarten at 2.5 years, having only spoken English at home. He’s now just turned 5, and speaks German fine at kindergarten and out and about. He’s never had a problem settling in, made friends and joins in everything.

At home we still speak only English to him as he won’t learn from anywhere else, but he does now use German himself to ask questions sometimes and we just reply back in English. Dh and I speak and understand German fairly well so it’s no issue. If we meet up with friends then we just all switch to German a few hours

Definitely not!
Toddlers and young children are making millions of new cognitive connections every single day! It’s so much easier for a toddler to pick up a language than it is for an older child or an adult. I fear I’ve missed the boat with mine because I didn’t stick with it

To add I do not speak german!

Thank you so much for the advice snd reassursnce all. We have begun the day with my husband speaking German and me English around DS and going to ensure we continue. So lovely hearing everyone’s stories of language success!

Different circumstances but in case it eases your mind: my lo is Deaf and was diagnosed late (whole different story). We put him in nursery for a few hours a week when he was 2.5 to help expose him to different voices etc. He's now 4 and communicates almost entirely in BSL. He's never had any issue fitting in with the other children though and has been able to join in activities with some support from staff. Children that age are remarkably accepting and just include him with gestures and signs they have picked up from him.

Your LO will understand the language quickly (especially if dad starts to talk to him in German now). And he is young enough that the kids won't particularly care if he speaks German. Just if he likes the same games as them.

I would suggest you learn some German if you plan to move there. We spent 4 years there and I had no German at all to start with which proved challenging. Many will speak English and be willing to do so but if you hope to integrate it is worthwhile and deemed polite. Even basics of shopping, healthcare, post office, education, socialising etc. Also familiarise yourself with local rules about recycling and rubbish disposal, what you can and can’t do on Sundays and holidays, driving licence and so on. Would you intend to gain a Swiss passport and does your dc qualify, otherwise you may need a permit.

May I privately message you? Your message is so helpful.

If you like, it was a while ago though so things may have changed.

We are a trilingual family and I see this kind of situation all the time.

Little ones are remarkable when it comes to picking up a new language. Starting from now, turn it into a fun activity exposing him to German while your dh starts to speak to him in only this language.

He will be absolutely fine and communicating in German in no time. It is a great gift you are giving him. Good luck!

My dd started Kindergarten in Belgium aged 2.5 and had no trouble. She was quiet for the first 6 months but seemed to follow instructions etc. And then nothing really stopped her after that. He vocabulary was stronger in either English or French according to the topic. She's in her 3rd year of Uni and doesn't speak English very often any more and says she forgets words.

Another thing that’s good is a Tonie box. We buy all the story books in English, but all the music and dancing Tonies in German.
So Ds gets German listening when playing in the day, and English listening before bed

Children speak Swiss German in schools and nursery which is very different from High German. I have immigrant friends and their children struggle at school as the spoken language is so different. He will pick it up quickly if you send him to nursery soon. Btw my UK friends in Zurich are not so impressed with the state school system and schools finish very early in the day so you need a lot of additional childcare or a very part time job.

I work in a preschool where children begin around 3. There are a lot of recent migrants in the area so every year we have about 6 who do not speak English. We are very used to the patterns of speech acquisition with a second language and we use visual aids at the start (for routine etc) for all children which really helps the non English speakers settle in. They pick it up quickly. The only issues arise at circle time when we are doing newstime and they don't understand and can't contribute. They learn songs just as quick as English speakers cos kids learn songs phonetically and many of them are nonsense anyways. If they are sad or down we might find a song in their home language and we usually try to learn a few basic words like hello thanks in their language at the start to make them feel welcome.

Not all nursery staff are the same so make sure you are with well qualified people who are educated in secondary language acquisition and have experience with this.

My brother was a teacher in an area where migrant children frequently started with no English - he said they were fluent within months.