UK, Dubai, Australia? What would you do?

[4pmwinetimebebeh]

DH and I are unhappy in the UK. I work in the public sector he’s in construction, pay is poor, progression slow and all local services are crap. Kids are 6 and 8 and we want better for them especially by the time they’re in secondary school.

DH has been offered a job in Dubai but I won’t be able to work there as my job (social work) doesn’t really exist in the same way. I’d probably find work eventually but couldn’t rely on it. His salary is good (£135k) but we’d need to cover private schooling, high rents and high CoL. I’m also not really a ‘middle east’ kinda person I don’t like the flashiness. But it’s an opportunity.

We are also looking at Australia and Canada, mostly aus due to the weather! It’s much more my vibe in term of culture (we’ve been there before and going again for a visit next week) but it’s sooo far and that worries DH.

We need a change though. We are both stressed and unhappy. Nowhere is perfect we aren’t mad but somethings gotta give. What would you do?

But of a curve ball but would you consider Northern Ireland? The schools are excellent- they still have the grammar system. The coast and countryside are beautiful. The housing is very affordable and it’s close enough to home to visit regularly

Why not work out if 135k is enough to live on on Dubai and if so try it?

Cab you both get jobs in Canada and Oz?

Go to Dubai, save as much as you can, see how you even feel about being out of UK, and after a year reconsider your options again.

I lived in Dubai for 15 years and raised my young kids there. Also not a flashy person and neither were any of my mates, who are 100% the best friends I will ever have, and live scattered across the world now. You gravitate towards your people. There’s days i wish I was still there!

Bear in mind that construction in the Middle East may well consist of managing gangs of indentured labour. That's a very different job to running building sites in the UK.

@sofasoda we have done the sums and we’d be similar to where we are now- can save a bit but things would be tight. He would have potential to earn more and obviously I wouldn’t be working, kids would be in better schools and the sunshine would be lovely but it wouldn’t be as lucrative as we would have hoped even on a modest lifestyle!

Can people just move to Canada or Australia if they fancy it? Genuine question as I have no idea if there are any sort of restrictions in place.
I wouldn't fancy Dubai because of the climate. We went to the middle east last summer and I really couldn't do anything, not even walk down the street for 5 minutes. I know everywhere is luxurious and has air-conditioning but I'm someone who like to spend time outdoors in nature so I'd hate to spend my life indoors for several months.
Work out how far that salary would go and whether you'd be able to save anything. If so you might consider going temporarily.

@SallyWD husband and I are both on the skills shortage lists and looking there are lots of job opportunities so I think a move would be doable (perhaps a faff but definitely a possibility!)

What is your family situation in the UK? As in GPs, in-laws etc. I'd take a serious look at Aus. Get a good idea of what sort of job you could do, wages, houses etc.

@Topjoe19 we live about 2.5 hours from my family, 30 mins from DH family. Lovely grandparents but no help day to day childcare. We have a good support network of friends, mum friends etc which I’d be keen to set up wherever we go!

I would avoid Dubai at all costs, their human rights records are shocking.

especially working in construction as your husband could quite likely be managing slaves

I would lean much more towards Canada or Oz. You're right Oz is a bloody long way but it's doable, and you could create a lovely life there.

We moved to Canada a couple of years ago and we’re loving it.

What did you decide in the end, @4pmwinetimebebeh?

You need to be really, really sure and the fact that you don't even know where suggests you're not. You also need to have the very tricky conversations e.g. what do you do if one of you hates it? What if the schools are terrible? What if one of the children hates it but the other lives it? What if the worst happens and one of you gets ill/dies? What if you split up? What if one of you is adamant you want to go back to UK and one is adamant you want to stay in OZ?

I have a friend who is stuck in Sydney because she split with her husband. He won't let her leave with the children and she's desperate to come home. The children are 6+8 so she could be there for ten more years before it's even remotely possible to return.

It's not a decision to take lightly.