To feel annoyed at sons dad for taking a job working away (not together)

[cheekycee]

im very overwhelmed doing it all on my own anyway pretty much (rather than though than live with his abuse).
I already had DD(4) her dad couldn’t be more supportive to me. Helps wherever and makes sure I have all I need and if I need help I can just ask and he’s there.
DS(1) me and his dad split cause he was abusive. First two months of split he never saw my son. He then started seeing him one Wednesday evening and 5-7 hours on a Sunday. He has never done an over night stay to take care of my son. He has asked I agreed then he accused me of wanting a baby sitter and so told me he wasn’t going to do overnights. Now he’s took a job without speaking with me first to ask if it is ok to drop the Wednesday. This would have been nice to see if it works for me too due to my own life arrangements as he let me know yesterday and he starts his new job Monday! he is working away all week every week now and so can’t do an evening in the week he can only do the Sundays. I’m really annoyed. He doesn’t give me much “time off” as is and he gives minimum £ towards my son. I can’t go through CSA as he claims self employed and puts down minimal work(he ears ALOT more).

1. my son deserves better than 5 hours a week seeing his “dad”
2. he literally is doing bare minimum

Nothing you can do, I’m afraid. TBH, I wouldn’t expect much from a “man” who refers to his own parenting as “babysitting”. You say he’s abusive—this means he’s, in my opinion, not a good fatherly role model anyway.

No I know there is nothing I can do I am just annoyed regarding the lack of help.. correct, however after speaking with a solicitor I was told the courts would see it as he wouldn’t be abusive if I wasn’t around and so yeah.. that’s a whole other story! Yeah you’re right he does absolutely nothing to support. He sees him for his Facebook photos that’s it

I think you better brace yourself that he will probably drop the Sundays soon as he is tired from working away….

Did you go through CSA for child payments or just his word for it?

He doesn’t sound like best influence on your son so maybe see if you can get some nursery hours to give yourself a break each week

Yeah wouldn’t surprise me.
he decided the figure and told me to stop begging for money when I brought it up - haven’t bothered since.
he absolutely isn’t the best role model but he is unfortunately his dad which if my fault and I’ll have to pick up the pieces.

@cheekycee please also remember that jobs nowadays are not ten a penny!!

Oh I know all about that my dear being a single mum to two finding a full time job to work around picking both my kids up and dropping them off every day.

As he is abusive it may be not such a bad thing. As much as you may write it was only directed at you children pick stuff up. Even babies as their brains are developing though they don’t fully understand.

This is true… do you think it would affect my son negatively if he wasn’t around? I’ve been given very mixed opinions off people… I know he was abusive to me - but that’s different from fathering with me not around