Upsetting event - how to help child get over it.

[Beansandcheesearegood]

My dd 10 witnessed/ was closely involved in trying to help someone who unfortunately died. It was a traumatic event/accident - a stranger. That was months ago but she still mentions it and says she worries about dying and her heart stopping.... any advice? Do u think councilling? I was with her so we talk about it.... the person wasn't old or anything and it was very sudden so I can't say anything about old age/ they were ill etc.

She needs a trauma therapy such as EMDR, Havening, EFT or somatic experiencing to release the trauma from her body. Counselling can help with the intellectual understanding but it can embed the trauma

Oh how sad. Sorry to hear this. Yes to counselling definitely, it will help her. Keep encouraging her to talk to you. I don't have any more advice I'm afraid but someone will surely be along to suggest other ways to help. Best wishes to you

I don’t think I have helpful advise but perhaps when there is a bereavement kids feel lots of things about the death and only some of it is sadness for the loss of someone they loved.

i know in this instance it’s not a bereavement that she is feeling, but maybe some of the thing people do to support their kids in a bereavement situation would help? There is an area on here for bereavement I think.

I know you said you talk about it but Can you ask how she’s feeling about it? What it makes her think about when she recalls the incident? how she felt at the time? If it’s left her with worries, and what they are?

maybe share some of your feelings about how it felt shocking / unexpected/ stressful/ you felt unsure of what to do etc. How it makes you feel sad for their loved ones but grateful for the people in your life, the importance of cherishing what we have and grateful that an early death is really rare.

it might bed in how unusual it was?

I’m sure there will be someone with better advice in a minute!

Definitely some therapy for her. But si sorry that she's gad to go through this

I think she’s having a normal reaction to a horrible event and you are doing the right thing by allowing her to discuss it and express how she feels. She is facing the reality that any of us can die at any time. We hate to think of our kids worrying but it’s a normal reflection to have after this. I think I’d be validating her feelings in that events like this do make us think about our own mortality, it’s normal to think about it and we can chat it through any time you want. I’m not sure counselling is appropriate, unless you feel it’s really impeding her day to day functioning, which it doesn’t sound like it is. Trust yourself, you’re doing great and are her best support!

I witnessed another childs death when I was 11/12 years old. At the time it didn’t seem to badly affect me. But over the years, it comes back to me especially when I had my own child. I still suffer with it now, decades later. My advice is to contact your GP for some trauma counselling.