My child will be 4 in August and I am trying to decide what to do about his birthday.
For his first birthday we went to the seaside for the weekend and then we had a little party at our house/in the garden the weekend after with my friends 2 children, 3 babies from his baby classes and one of their older siblings.
For his second birthday we had a party on his actual birthday with his Little Movers teacher leading a class and a bouncy castle and loads of toys that place provided. About 10 children came (2 we knew from previous baby groups, 1 we met when he was a baby and still have play dates with plus his older sibling and the rest from his Little Movers class). After the party we went to a fair with a splash pad/pool and then we went to a buffet for tea.
For his third birthday we went to Thomas Land and then we had a party the week after at the same place as last year with the bouncy castle and toys but this time we had someone come in to do messy play instead of Little Movers. About 12 children came (1 child who he really enjoys playing with and who plays with him, 1 we met when he was a baby and still have play dates with plus his older sibling, 1 child who we met at a baby group but rarely see, his 2 cousins, 1 child from his gymnastics class and the rest from his Little Movers class).
The issue with his fourth birthday coming up is that whilst I have been looking at parties and have a few ideas I am just not sure if it would be worth it. I don’t doubt that he would enjoy having a party as he has enjoyed his previous ones (playing, having the cake brought out, having party food ect.) but he doesn’t actually understand that it is his birthday or that the party is for him. He has a speech delay and he is awaiting an autism assessment and in his speech, social and communication development he is more like a 2 year old (younger in some ways even) and he only has one friend and two children that he enjoys playing with/near. One of these children (he has been to all of his previous parities) is moving to another country before his birthday so he won’t be able to come this year. The other child who he enjoys playing with has started full time nursery (they were in a toddler class together) and we haven’t seen them more than twice since as they have family over most weekends. The child that is his friend would come but that’s only one child who he actually enjoys being around.
He started nursery in February so I thought it would be nice to invite the children from nursery this year instead of Little Movers (most of the children I invited from Little Movers for his second and third birthday are no longer in the class as they have either started full time nursery or school and we haven’t kept in touch as they were never friends so it would be weird to ask them now I think) but when I asked his key worker if she could give me a list of names of the children that he seems to like/that like him (when picking him up there have been a couple of children who have said his name/said bye to him) she said she could write a list of the children that he plays next to/alongside but that he doesn’t actually play with any of them and will take whatever he wants to play with and go and sit by himself to play with it.
The only other children that he plays with (runs around and chases) are 2 children at an autism stay and play that we go to. I could potentially invite them but I’m not sure if a party would be too much for them or not.
It’s really, really hard. I did think about doing a LUSH party as you need a minimum of 3 children but I just don’t know if it is worth it. I have asked the mum of his friend if we can try and arrange a day out and she is up for it but she is also waiting for an operation so even that isn’t a definite!!
We will probably go to Alton Towers or Thomas Land again on his actual birthday but I really want to give him the experience of celebrating his birthday with his friends/other children. It is just so hard to know what the best thing to do is. He would probably enjoy a party with random children from nursery to be fair but I don’t know if it would be worth it. At least with the Little Movers children, all of the parents knew him so probably understood the situation.
I was thinking of asking if I could bring a cake into nursery the week of or the week after his birthday and ask them to do something for him but I don’t know if that would just be really cheeky. I was also thinking if I could maybe bring some balloons and maybe cupcakes to his autism stay and play the week of his birthday or the week after to make it into a mini party for him but again I don’t know if this would be a really cheeky thing to ask.
I just don’t know. I just want him to have the best day.