Pregnant again omg

[help123452]

Hello.
please don’t judge. Me and my partner have our first child together 4 months old.
I’m breastfeeding and thought it stopped you getting pregnant stupid I know. Plus haven’t had period yet.
this week felt really unwell with banging head everyday.
I thought surely not….
and I am.
im in shock. I’m sad. I’m scared.
anybody got 2 under 1?????

I have 3 older children so this baby would be number 5

How old are the older kids OP? Is there a good gap?

You'll manage if you have to manage, doesn't mean it won't be hard. Parents of multiples do it because they just have to get on with it. My aunt had the same gap, my two cousins are best pals now, everyone just assumed they were twins.

Well you've done it now so unless you're prepared to consider termination, you won't have any choice!!

Four children though - how on earth could you think breastfeeding would prevent pregnancy?!

Hello, I’ve just had my 5th she is 12 weeks there is only an 11 month gap between her and my 4th. Ask me anything you want to know

Do you want the baby?

I would have some counselling. I used Choices Charity Islington for 2 free hours zoom counselling

Assuming you're in the UK, you don't actually have to have a baby. You have options open to you.

Why on earth did you think breastfeeding would stop you getting pregnant? That's a silly old wives' tale, like having sex whilst standing up is a contraception! Five kids is a hella lot and you do have choices.

Thanks everyone.
I have
15,13,7,4months
my older kids are incredible with the young ones. Really amazing and help a lot. (They chose to)

i was told when you breast feed it stops fertility because the hormones that produce milk stop you ovulating.

I really don’t know what to do. If I have the baby it would definitely be the last

Thanks so much xx did you plan her? How are you coping?? Tell me everything lol xxx

My mum got pregnant with me when my sister was 3 months old. She just had the two of us though, not five!

Can you afford another? Will you have support?

@help123452no she wasn’t planned but I definitely wouldn’t change things. I am coping really well. The first few weeks were a little overwhelming as she was poorly and my 1 year old was full of cold. Getting out of the house can be a challenge for the school run 😂 don’t get me wrong there’s definitely been some tears but overall it definitely isn’t as bad as you would think. My one year old absolutely loves her and I can’t wait to watch them grow.

your other children are very similar ages to mine. I have 16,13,6 13months and 12 weeks

You’ve made me feel a lot better. Thanks so much. Do you have your partners support or alone? You sound like a super woman and mum! Honestly well done the first few weeks are hard! With this one I forgot how hard it was xxxx

That's crazy, because I was told 28, 26 and 22 years ago that while breastfeeding may offer some protection against pregnancy, it was not to be relied upon!

I would have liked to think that the guidance would have only become more robust in that time!

@help123452i have a very good support network so I guess that helps but to be honest I haven’t had to rely on anyone or ask for help so far. How does your partner feel about the pregnancy?

what are you thinking you might do? We didn’t even consider termination we just went ahead but if that’s the right decision for you then don’t feel bad or guilty you have to do the right thing for your family. Xx

My DP’s Mum and Auntie share the same birthday.
His Nan gave birth to her second daughter on her first child’s 1st birthday 😅 she got pregnant when her DD1 was about 12 weeks old.

Congratulations 💛

I had 2 within 1 year - pregnant with DD when DS was a couple of months old (planned) we wanted them close together.

It's worked out wonderfully - they're the best of friends, going through all the same life stages at the same time. Got rid of nappies and buggies and baby paraphernalia all at the same time. Common interests, the list goes on ! So happy with our decision to do it like that

I found pregnancy whilst looking after a baby easy.

There's one caveat - the early years were gruelling (ages newborn to around ages 3) joint tantrums (luckily there weren't many, but when it did happen it was utter chaos ) pooey nappies at the same time , sticking one in a high chair and one crying for a milk feed! It was like swimming in quick sand ! But my god it was worth it on d you're out the other side.

If you are in a good place mentally, and you have good social support (partner, grandparents, friends etc ) I'd go for it !

Good luck !!

PS the only "judgement" I got was assuming my DD just must have been unplanned/an accident. But she was absolutely planned!

The only other thing is surprise at how quickly we must have had sex post birth of my DS. But there was method in the madness - we wanted another baby !

@help123452 how are you doing op?