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Original poster

What is my friend entitled to in this break up

49 replies

askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 09:43

She has finally broke up with her child of a partner. They have 2 children, both in primary school.
He is refusing to accept this, says he’s not giving up etc.
She is adamant she is done with him and just wants to know where she stands.
They have a mortgage, as far as she is aware they are 50/50 on it. It was his inheritance off grandparent that was used as a deposit. He is begging her “not to take the house as it’s the kids inheritance”
She is unsure if she can approach the local council about housing due to being on this mortgage. How does it work? I don’t think she cares about the house as such, just wants a place of her own.
thank you for any advice

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 23/04/2025 09:49

She needs to check if she really is on the mortgage but as they are not married if she isn’t on the mortgage , he paid deposit another consideration will be has she paid half of the mortgage cost each month.

BodenCardiganNot · 23/04/2025 09:52

I don't think it's as simple as 'approaching the local council about housing'.
Does she work? Has she the means to pay rent?

Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 09:53

She does work yes. Just asked and she said she only pays for the food each month because that’s all she earns.

OP posts:

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Relationship problems
Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 09:53

He earns way way more than her always has done. At one point wanted her to stop working but she refused as she needed something for her

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 23/04/2025 09:54

Are they married? I presume not as you say partner but legally it makes a big difference.

Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 09:54

No not married

OP posts:
HettySorrelfromHayslope · 23/04/2025 10:00

The money from the house is not just his children's inheritance (and anyway, his disposal of said inheritance may change if he has a new partner in the future). It may be needed by your friend for their children's current needs. A break up is not a time to be generous at the expense of being able to house your children securely. Your friend needs to find out if she is entitled to money from the house and, if so, use it to get herself and the children into a secure living arrangement. She will need to take legal advice.

nightmarepickle2025 · 23/04/2025 10:06

Is she on the deeds to the house? You can check on the land registry for about 3 quid.

Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 10:08

Thank you, I’ve just told her to check the land registry.
she’s not good at this sort of stuff, plus her dad is very poorly with a terminal diagnosis so has a lot going on.
she said she put 3k towards the deposit of the house

OP posts:
Daisyvodka · 23/04/2025 10:11

Can you expand on 'as far as she is aware they are 50/50 on it' she will have signed paperwork when they bought it, what did she sign? Did he ring fence the deposit from his grandfather at the time, in which case she will have signed something agreeing to that. If he didn't, then it's down to her morals whether she would take that into account when deciding on a figure for him to buy her out of the property or not. What did she put in?

Daisyvodka · 23/04/2025 10:12

Just seen she put 3k in. Sounds like this wasn't a million years ago, does she have copies of the paperwork, solicitors emails etc? Might be some attachments on there. Or can she go through the paperwork in the house?

Hoppinggreen · 23/04/2025 10:13

I am sorry your life has turned to shit, here is a funny online game
Reported

Octavia64 · 23/04/2025 10:15

If they are not married then in general he keeps what he has and she keeps what she has.

if they own stuff jointly then it gets a bit more complicated.

with marriages the big financial things are usually pensions and the house. As they are not married they’ll each keep their own pension.

there are a lot of complicated ways of buying a house together and she does really need to find out the details here.

does she have paperwork for the purchase? Emails, letters?

blueleavesgreensky · 23/04/2025 10:36

What is the plan for custody? Will they be 50:50 on contact time with dc?
They will both need to be able to house the dc not just your friend and the house s they end up living in don’t need to be owned. They can be rented.

I struggle with the deposit from his grandparents being split unless her low earnings is due to her supporting him in his career to earn more.

honeylulu · 23/04/2025 10:38

If she is on the deeds (deeds are the critical thing, rather than mortgage which is the debt!) and they are joint tenants them she's entitled to 50% equity. If they are tenants in common in unequal shares than she's entitled to her allotted share. The other possibility is that they are joint tenants but with their deposits ringfenced - they would have had to sign a deed of trust (same for TIC in unequal share) if so this probably won't be referenced on the LR deeds but getting a copy is the best place to start.

If she's not on the deeds and hasn't contributed to the mortgage then she's probably entitled to nothing, though she may have a case for getting her £3k out.

In the absence of other info, it's most likely that they are both on the deeds as JT, given that he's asked her "not to go after the house". She'll be entitled to some equity but they may need to agree to carve out each others deposits. He'll probably be in a better position to buy her out and keep the house.

If they were married she'd probably be entitled to a lot more.

Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 10:40

I think she went into all this a bit blind. I know his mum sorted alot out with the inheritance etc. she said she just signed stuff, and by the sounds of things she didn’t know what she was signing 🤦‍♀️ in fairness though, she was only 22/23 at the time !

OP posts:
Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 10:41

She’s said her deposit she just transferred to him a bit at a time as she got it. He then spent it. So she said you will have to cover the 3k off me that you’ve spent.

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/04/2025 10:42

It'll still be the kids inheritance if she takes half!
But she needs to know who's named as owner of the house as well as who's on the mortgage as the mortgage is just a loan

Hoppinggreen · 23/04/2025 11:13

askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 10:41

She’s said her deposit she just transferred to him a bit at a time as she got it. He then spent it. So she said you will have to cover the 3k off me that you’ve spent.

Good Luck to her proving that then.

MoreChocPls · 23/04/2025 11:14

Why should she get half?

Original poster
askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 11:19

MoreChocPls · 23/04/2025 11:14

Why should she get half?

She doesn’t want half. Wants to know what she is entitled too because I think if you have a property you can’t just go to the council and ask for a house.

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 23/04/2025 11:21

From what you have said OP his family have probably ensured, because they aren't married, and he has been paying what, the mortgage, bills, put most of the house deposit in, she hasn't seen any paperwork, did she sign for the mortgage, when the annual mortgage statement comes through is it addressed to both of them? Sounds like it isn't if you are asking these questions on her behalf.

So I am guessing, no she isn't entitled to anything regarding the house. But if he is insistent that it is going to the kids anyway, then that is a small comfort. Although if they split, he meets and marries someone in the future, they might have kids there is a chance their kids are left with nothing.

It sounds like she has been extremely financially naive and is going to have to walk out of there, get a better job, get child maintenance and split childcare so she can work.

As for the council, that will be area dependent. She would probably get temporary housing, that might be temporary for a long time, or might be lucky and get housed straight away. She can only try.

Dairymilkisminging · 23/04/2025 12:59

You can apply for council house whole owning a house. You have to show them why you can't live in said house though.

FortyElephants · 23/04/2025 13:03

If she's actually on the deeds then he will have to buy her out. A fair suggestion would be her £3k plus a % of the equity built up since they bought it. She can apply to be housed before that happens. Will she be having the children mostly in her care?

Blackdow · 23/04/2025 13:06

askingforafriendd · 23/04/2025 11:19

She doesn’t want half. Wants to know what she is entitled too because I think if you have a property you can’t just go to the council and ask for a house.

Show quote history

Why is she expecting council housing? Does she realise she will most likely end up in temporary accommodation and wait years for a council property? She needs to look into renting and she is going to have to work more and sort out a universal credit claim and apply for child maintenance. She can apply for UC and start a child maintenance claim whilst still living in the same house as him, she just needs to explain that they have split up and are living as single people. But she really does need to be split from him and split finances and everything. So she will have her own money coming in and can then go rent or just continue to live with him until he buys her out.