Mummy meets and social

[MommaSmith]

Hi I’m trying to find more local mums
im about to join a baby group and I have tried Peanut but people don’t commit to chats, ghost, don’t respond or others have said they barely use the app

trying to think where - Surrey uk in particular

NCT groups? Village hall or church-linked baby and toddler groups?

I tried a few toddler groups and church groups with my eldest and seems people are just there to either let their kid run out of energy or to grab a free coffee rather than connect with others sadly

The only times I actually connected and made a Mum friend was once on the Peanut app but after to meet ups, we went our separate ways and another one at the hospital when I gave birth but since they returned to work, I haven’t heard anything except for about two text and another one at a Baby group where we still talk and see each other at least once a month, but that’s because we have two kids the exact same ages

In my area we've got there's a girls group with lots of different sub groups, one of them being playdates, mums etc. could you possibly see if you have one or if not set one up? Failing that we go to baby groups ran by the council but there should be different ones if your area

I’ve largely had the same experience with all my three.

You just have to persevere. I have met two great friends, long lasting over the years, but that was after going to countless groups and really getting stuck in, inviting people over, asking if they wanted to meet at the park.

I met a great group of people like that 20 odd years ago when my first was a toddler, and with my second who is now 11. Sadly, a lot of those friendships didn’t last the years due to me moving around the country and just life, but I’m still in touch with some.

My youngest is 4, and I’m old and tired now so didn’t try so hard, but still made an effort and have a couple of people here now, through her playgroups and my older DDs school.

My only tip is to be really friendly and take the plunge and ask people to do stuff. Not everyone will like you, and you won’t like everyone but you may be lucky and find a couple of people you click with, and having kids the same age is just incidental.

Its easy for me though as I give no shits, I will talk to anyone and I’m not shy at all and I love hosting, I can see how it would be harder if you weren’t like that.

When mine were little, I emailed and called all the local churches to find out about what groups were run from their halls.

Oh, I’m exactly like this and I think sometimes it puts people off

I tried to go on the local Fred on here, but it keeps saying I haven’t put a location?

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Is there anyone interested to meet up and have a coffee or do something in a soft play?

I have a two year-old and a seven month old and relatively new to the area so I would love to meet a group of Mum’s to do stuff with!

#Coulsdon
caterham

Yeah, I get that it can put some people off! But sometimes, you’ll meet those couple of people that it doesn’t and you might have stuff in common. I’ve been looked at like I’m bonkers for suggesting meeting up, or inviting them to my house more times than I care to remember, but I keep plugging away.

I’ve tried mumsnet local threads over the years too and it’s been tumbleweed. I also tried peanut when I had just moved here pregnant with my youngest. People were happy to chat but no one wanted to meet.

It is really bloody hard sometimes, you have my sympathy, having been through it myself.

I’ve moved to quite an odd area where school parents stick to themselves and their own friends and family. No one ever leaves this area, so they are all taking thier kids to the same school they went to, with their family and friends they went to school with. I’ve only met two people in 5 years that want to meet up with the children and be friends with me, despite my daughters having loads of friends and school and nursery. It gets really lonely.

All my parent friends came from nursery; birthday parties throw you together. The children are now off to university, but the parents are still friends.

Have you tried local gyms? Lots offer baby/ parent and mums sessions. always seem friendly snd welcoming, plus you all have an activity in common.
Otherwise ask other nursery mums to meet up in a local cafe, or sports centre.
It can feel odd putting yourself out there,, just keep trying.....some of my best friendships were made when my children were little, but it takes work!