I have ASD so apologies if overthinking.
I’ve always been scared to ask a man out in real life. I worry “he’s just not that into you” or “if he wanted to he would”. I have normal friends who have asked men out with success, but in my head I justify it as they’re physically attractive enough for it to be socially acceptable.
I moved into a short term 2 bed sublet in London recently (few months) sharing with a lovely guy, seven years older if relevant but I’m late twenties.
I was going through unrelated personal issues when I first moved in (didn’t share with him but he could probably tell I wasn’t in a great mood). Despite this he had made an effort with me from day 1, more than any other new flatmate has even when I seemed more approachable.
We’d properly catch up over dinner once or twice a week. Otherwise just friendly small talk whenever we caught each other (often had conflicting schedules, and both have busy social life on weekends)
Genuinely a sweet and funny guy, not to mention physically cute. As someone with ASD I get paranoid of annoying people or going on a tangent but he genuinely seemed to care to listen to me (never judged me for any of my weirdness).
I found myself developing a crush on him, I would even wear subtle makeup on days when staying at home 😂. I started getting butterflies and would talk fast due to nerves - didn’t want him to know I fancied him as it felt inappropriate as flatmates. “Don’t shit where you eat” was on my mind.
however 24th April is the last date of our tenancy and it started to make me think should I ask him out? Sounds silly but I genuinely felt sad about not being able to see him again despite just being flatmates for a short term let.
I moved out early on the 21st (yesterday) whereas he is moving 23rd.
After I’d moved all my stuff, I had purposely made an excuse that I’d come back and deep clean my room the next day (today the 22nd) instead of doing it on the same day.
He was kind enough to say he would save me the hassle of coming the next day as he wouldn’t mind cleaning my room for me but the truth was I wanted an excuse to see him again, and thought if I came back I could try asking him out. 😂
well today happened and it didn’t go as planned because I chickened out. We spoke at ease for over an hour, but suddenly I worried the autism has made me completely misread signs and he’s just a friendly guy. He did initiate the hug first when I left but had also said ‘was lovely meeting you’ which sounded too final. I think I awkwardly said bye due to nerves too.