Anxiety, worry & scary thoughts - 7 yro

[Charb2025]

My daughter has been having a really tough time with anxious thoughts and worries lately—both during the day and at night.

Although she no longer watches TikTok or YouTube, some of the content she came across before—like cartoons showing violent or unsettling images—seems to have really stuck with her (and yes I monitored and restricted things and it still go through!) Even now, things that seem small or harmless, like a poster with the word “kill” on it or a prank she played, seem to spiral in her mind into something much bigger. She’s mentioned feeling guilty or scared about these things, even though they’re quite minor.

She’s also had intrusive and scary thoughts about everyday things—like imagining blood on a picture of a rabbit in her friends playroom, people dying from having their heads cut off etc! She’s just been describing a lot of horrible images popping into her head, and it's really upsetting for her. I know this has stemmed from YouTube etc despite me monitoring what she watched :(

To note she is is also very shy and sensory at times and has always been this way.

We’re trying to support her as best we can and at school she did SEMH which helped but she cannot do it again due to so many kids being on the waiting list. We have a worry box at home and I have tried positive and listening such as “ That sounds really upsetting. Our brains sometimes show us things we don’t like, but that doesn’t mean they’re real or that you did anything wrong.” But nothing helps.

Any advice greatly appreciated x

Get rid of TikTok and YouTube completely and no unsupervised online access.

I would approach your GP for a camhs referral.

Bless her- it’s like reading myself when I was little. Please normalise this- eventually she will grow into an adult and realise it’s super anxiety- the thoughts aren’t real- it’s her imagination playing tricks on her.
the moment you make it a big deal, react like she’s weird etc or concerned she will panic and snowball.
i would make myself open to her telling me things-
and normalise it. She’s probably going to experience the worst before it gets better and she will realise it’s just her brain - the thoughts can’t hurt you,

It’s banned and has been for nearly 2 weeks now!

Just re read and your doing the right thing, sometimes it’s not anything she’s watched either- I think I was limited to what I watched ( strict religious upbringing) and I still had dark thoughts.

best coping mechanism is distraction- everytime she thinks of blood- distract with something positive
once you associate a fluffy white rabbit covered in blood, oh wait now it’s jam, the rabbit is licking the jam etc
requires re wiring thoughts but eventually it becomes automatic associations.

draw a diagram- explain how you can turn bad thoughts into good thoughts -
bee 🐝- bee stings- kills me- I die bee dies
bee- bee buzzes- pollinated- flowers- spring

your turning negative into positive 🌻

also, reading happy books, 📕 channelling creative thoughts into drawings paintings is a great outlet x

Thank you for such rational thinking.

i do worry things have been more difficult because I'm a single mum and she’s an only child—I’ve always tended to pander to her, and in hindsight, that may have made her a bit less resilient and more dependent on attention.

I’m really trying to help her shift her thinking by offering different perspectives, giving her scenarios to work through, and using distraction techniques when I can—but right now, nothing seems to be making much of a difference. Even trying to explain that people add weird and horrible things on YouTube (kids) etc as clickbait and scenarios aren’t real but she’s more in tune with stuff and will see books or posters that are scary etc. x

Dd had this after seeing some pictures in the Guinness book of records of people with unusual bodies which freaked her out and then she was overwhelmed by memories of people talking about illness death pain deformity etc.
I have to switch the news off because it quite happily talks about murders etc during the day. Anyway she saves up her list of things she wants to talk about and lots of them are daft things kids have said at school but others are genuine. We go over them and whether they’re true and how bad they are and likely to happen. Then we talk about good things to try and override the worries.
she’s getting less things on the list now but it’s a realisation that the world isn’t always lovely

Thank you, that’s brilliant advice. It’s hard as an adult as we are rational thinkers and at that age they are not and as we know it spirals in children. I also heard about naming the scary thoughts, to make it less scary.

have all the books and she rejects them. So it’s more about learning to use the right words and scenarios.

like today, she heard a bee when walking to the car and came running it and said it was in her jumper and then refused to wear the jumper (she’s been stung before!)

Well it’s all normal- I went through weird morbid curiosity phases even as a child- Henry and the beheadings of his wives; Egyptians and the way they die, Jack the Ripper eventually.
If it scares her then normalise it and the opposite- baby kittens, baby chickens- life/ birth etc full circle. It’s not all death. I don’t think you’ve been soft, it’s just some kids are more aware of their own mortality and others. Inlook back and now realise I had OCD. Not the ritual as bad but the obsessive thinking yes. It’s grim but until she thinks the absoloute worst- her brain will keep going: unless it refocuses. Either way they’re just thoughts. I bet she is super creative

She’s also been upset by YouTube kids pranks even when the setting is for younger kids, I don’t think it is moderated well. She got worried about some guy reenacting the film up and floating up in a little building which was terrifying tbh. I had to google how it was done to explain it was not real.

I convinced her to draw in bed this evening and she didn’t mention any worries so it was a good distraction. She normally doesn’t allow distraction x

My ds(7) went through something similar recently with worries and anxiety, more around worried he or his family would die etc. It caused him trouble eating and sleeping as he always felt sick with worry. In the end what helped was distraction. Every time he’d tell me a worry during the day I’d acknowledge and give a cuddle then try and distract with a funny memory or play a game or look up facts about something else. At bedtime I’d sit on his bedroom floor while he listened to a fun audiobook and then a kids sleep meditation thing so the thoughts didn’t have chance to creep in. After doing this for a couple of weeks he’s back to normal.

I hope you find something that works for your DD, I know how worrying it is.

They are so exposed aren’t they - it’s terrible.

We were in Smyths today and I came across a Nintendo game for kids called Hide and Seek. On the front cover, there were two children with a bunny, and they were pouring what looked like ketchup over it to resemble blood. It really struck me how this kind of imagery—clearly intended to be playful—can be so disturbing, especially for more sensitive children.
It made me reflect on just how much kids are exposed to on a daily basis, not just through games and TV, but even just overhearing conversations, listening to the radio, or walking down the street. While some children might brush these things off, others are far more in tune and can internalise them :(

sorry to hear this and I think distraction is key because at this age, a lot of kids and I believe my daughter is one of them, feeds into the anxiety. Because she’s constantly saying “can I tell you another worry” I’m going to be slightly firmer with the acknowledge, talk, and then distraction technique as I don’t want to feed into her either which I may be doing x