Hi, I need advice i dont understand the situation. Please don’t have a go at me or say im being ridiculous as I know but I don’t understand this
so I was with this guy on and off since 2021, it was a relationship but it was always very very physical there was very strong chemistry like something out a film but I soon found out he said all the right things and could be generous in actions but he was emotionally immature and I think unavailable. He would choose to drink and spend time with his friends over me so obviously we argued lots and broke up lots of times. It was like a lamp- on, off then on off on, you get the picture. It is always the same pattern- I cut him off go no contact then months later one random Friday night my phone will ping he will text or call like clockwork asking me to go out and meet him. Recently hes been getting his friends to text me and do it , as well as himself. Hes done this to me cos ive allowed him and ive always loved him. He has some weird strong hold over me and I don’t understand why. I met him when I was younger, wild and carefree life was so simple back then in more areas of life than one. There were more job opportunities, life seemed brighter, I had more time for people, partying all the time etc. im not sure if it’s grieving the past life i had in contrast to how hard things are now but he still has a hold on me. Yes ive blocked him but I can never delete his number. I still love him deep down and nights ive cried for him and grieved what I thought we were.
i was at my best friend’s house the other Friday night having a lovely girls night in when my phone pinged. It was him begging me to come out and see him, he wanted to see me. I hadn’t had contact with him since around January (he did the same again when I was dating someone) and he asked me when I met him with my then boyfriend, we went to the bar and he asked “are you really happy with him?” He seemed upset too. Flash forward to now & the last contact was he was texting me but I blocked him.
the last contact was two Fridays ago.
hes never let me go after years and years it’s an on and off cycle that never ends. I was suicidal over this the other day because my life feels messed up and I miss him.
my main question is- why is he doing this? If it is to use me for sex, the times I met him before I never slept with him and he still kept coming back. He just always does it.
anyone been through similar? Any suggestions why? I haven’t understood it in years and I fear I never will. I contemplated getting dressed up with some nice makeup and going over to his flat to talk properly. He recently lost his father as well he died suddenly and he was a wonderful kind man. Surely my ex is more focused on his bereavement than sniffing round me?
please someone help ive lost
my marbles xx