She doesn't look autistic

[Whoistheeasterbunny]

But she doesn't look autistic"

"It must be your fault, she's only got you"

"Aww bless her all kids are like that, you just need help with your anxiety"

"You're making up her SEN"

"A diagnosis won't make any difference, the schools should support her anyway"

"You just need parenting lessons"

"ALL children should be in school"

"If she was in school your life would be easier"

"You just need self care"

"Can you help me with this?"

"I want to share all my problems with you, don't worry about your child, she'll grow out of it"

"You just need a job"

"She's picking up on your anxiety"

"You need to get out more"

"You need to create routine"

"You need to be stronger"

"All kids play up"

I’m sorry you seem to be be going through a difficult time. It is very challenging having a SEN child. Do you have support or do you need to vent?

Is the back photo supposed to be there?

Did you mean to post the photo of your back?

?

There's a bite mark on my back

I think it’s the injury she has due to her daughter’s meltdown or similar?

edit: cross post

I assumed it’s because of the red mark ? Perhaps OP child has had a meltdown and hurt her ? Or I may be wrong hopefully OP will clarify.

You are not wrong.

Can you refer yourself to Early help ? It’s social services but they are extremely helpful and might be able to help you access support?

Op have you joined the facebook group parenting mental health. It is amazing with lots of support and experiences like yours.

I've had them involved and they were awful. Some of those comments I listed were from them...

That’s horrendous, was it just one specific social worker that said these things or more than one ? They are meant to support and help not parent blame

How old is your child ?

Nearly six

Why are you posting so vaguely?

Yep. This is exactly what we have with our son.
Meltdowns so extreme our neighbour reports us to the police because she thinks we're abusing DC. Yet we are the ones battered and bruised.
We have had help from so many different sources. We've done all the parenting courses, implement all the recommended strategies.
It just doesn't work for some SEN children.

Were literally in an abusive relationship that we cannot escape and there is NO real help at all.

Im so sorry you're going through the same. I wish I had a solution but we are seeking the same 😞

Be kind to yourself xx

OP is clearly struggling and posting our of frustration. She's not being deliberately vague. Please be mindful this is someone clearly crying out for help that simply isn't available

She listed a load of statements and a photo, she could easily have explained what was actually going on if she was able to post all that.

I'm sorry it's the case for you also. Although there's peace in solidarity it shouldn't be this way at all.

If our nervous systems weren't so disregulated and fried, we'd be out marching, writing to our MPs, pushing, campaigning to change the system, yet we are mostly curled up in a ball waiting to feel human again after the latest outburst. People forget we are human and our undying love for our children still isn't enough to protect us from the pain and daily battles we go through.

Are you home educating ? There’s a fb group ‘not fine in school’ which is very good

I'm so sorry you've had to experience all those unhelpful and downright offensive comments.

Of course it's not your fault your child has SEN. You're doing the best you can under very tough circumstances.

I hope you've got some kind and caring friends and family, or have you looked at counselling?
I hope things improve for you and your child x

My best friend has dc with autism I will ask her if there’s any service or support group / advice she can advise on

Sorry for what you are going through op,

I actually don’t think the post was vague at all. She’s posted a load of nonsense things people say about autistic children, not knowing what the lived reality is like, accompanied by a picture where she’s clearly been injured, most likely by the child ‘who just needs routine blah blah blah’.

Sorry OP. Not only do you have to deal with your child but you also have to wade through all the neurotypical bullshit of people not understanding what you’re going through.

I didn’t need you to explain the photos before you did, I understood your post right away. I’m so sorry - I understand how tough it can be and have had quite a few of those statements listed made to me too. Some people without SEN children can be so naive to how difficult day-to-day life is
Sending hugs xx