Feeling silly/down today

[cheekycee]

ive woke up today totally missing my ex. But not in the sense of wanting him back. I don’t. But I miss him. Well I miss the company and good times we shared.

we ended in June last year as his abuse was progressing and he acted out infront of my kids and threatened to kick off in front of them and they’re very young (even if they weren’t this is enough for me to leave). He was awful to me and because I had his child he thought he could treat me how he wanted. Like why did he have to be like that and ruin the relationship. Anyway it is what it is.

i miss him today and not that I want him back or anything… more I’m missing him being with us and the company and making memories with the kids. I am taking the kids on a day out, somewhere him and I took my daughter when she was young and now I’m returning and he isn’t with us I don’t know it’s just hitting a little bit? Crazy…

I know what you mean. A long time ago now I chucked my XH out for various reasons and I definitely DEFINITELY did not want him back - but I found I did miss him sometimes. Or not him, exactly, but having somebody there who knew me and who I didn't need to get to know.

I hope it helps if I tell you that it was around 25 years ago and I have been with my very dearly loved DH for 19 years, married for 9. Things do get better.

I hear you OP.

it’s distress that they ruined a relationship with bad behaviour and couldn’t see that if they just behaved better then you could have a family and nice life.

I think this constantly about my ex. I just have to tell myself that he didn’t change because he couldn’t. Abusers are not wired the same as the rest of us. Having a nice family/ life isn’t important to them. War and meeting their own needs are all that matters.

its sad OP. I feel it every day. We will come to terms with it ❤️.

at least we are out of it and sometimes that’s as good as it gets

It’s normal to miss the attachment to an ex and the lifestyle you had, even if it wasn’t healthy or happy at times.
Doing things alone that you did as a couple will always be a difficult reminder but at least you’re out of it now and it’s less stressful.
I keep seeing reminders on social media of what I/we were doing in previous years and whilst it’s hurtful, it’s also a reminder that those memories weren’t all good. The photos were the positive times and the rest wasn’t.
A photo of a lovely day used to be really upsetting just after I left him, but now I’m out of it I can remember that the next day he did x and I really don’t want that life back.
You're ability to cope gets better even if the memories remain.