Housework is endless. Anyone else resonate?

[mynewhouseisfab]

It's endless and non stop. 5 of us in the house. Yesterday we hosted for Easter. Spent the morning cleaning ready for guests. DH prepped food,I cleaned down Kitchen from his prepping before the guests arrived. 2 dishwasher loads during the day and another good wipe down of the kitchen. Today Bins now need emptying, dishwasher needs full unload from yesterday, there's several washing loads to go on, uniforms to sort as well as the daily grind of making lunches/ dinners etc (and the kitchen mess/dishwasher fall out from that lot)

It's never ending
2 DC are ASD and can't help.

The alternative is to have no husband, no children, no family and no friends - then you can spend Easter in your nice clean house all by yourself

I know - it doesn’t stop does it. I feel like my life is about basically moving dirty things one way and then clean things another. Yesterday I put away 5 loads of washing and the laundry basket is full again.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t get to do any “proper” cleaning because so much time is taken up with the basics - surfaces, laundry, dishwasher and bins.

I read that the average house needs 30 mins housework a day - my house feels more like 90 mins minimum and that’s just to stop it looking like a bombsite nothing show homey!

Guests for meals are always a lot of extra work. Sounds like you don't enjoy it which is fair enough. So don't invite anyone again for a while.

It is a grind, no getting away from it. The thing that makes it a lot more tolerable for me is listening to a good podcast or audiobook while I do boring tasks - so many to choose from.

Also, it’s a lot less of a grind than in years gone by. Thank God for washing machines and dishwashers! Which of course you know but it somehow helps to remember it.

This.

Alternatively you can encourage your children to help - start as young as possible don't wait until they're teenagers. Give everyone a simple job. I don't know what specific problems your ASD children have - could they just pick things off the floor and put them in the right place (box/basket prominently placed and labelled)?

OP, I do hear you. I try to remind myself that things like prepping for guests is a privilege that I’m lucky to have etc, but it doesn’t take away from the sheer monotony of it.

Both my children have ASD and they contribute hugely to the mess / just cannot seem to see it (child A) OR would have an absolute meltdown if I suggested they help me in any way (child B)…it’s draining.

Someone once said to me “While you’re alive, there’ll be housework” So. There you go.

I hear you OP. It's soul destroying sometimes. By the time I've gone through each room in my house for a deep clean, the first room needs done again. Not to mention the endless washing, drying, folding of clothes.

I've stopped ironing most things. I still do school uniforms but nothing else really. I also make my kids empty the dishwasher and clear any of their own stuff from communal areas. I implemented a "chuck it bucket", so if I find anything where it shouldn't be it goes in the bucket and they've got a week to retrieve it and put it where it should be or it goes in the bin/charity shop. That has stopped a lot of the stuff.

We got a cleaner for an hour a week just to do some hoovering and dusting. It is £25 an hour and is such a treat. Worth every penny.

Ignore the sanctimonious posters who say that a life of drudgery is what you pay to have a family. You're allowed to have a moan about it sometimes.

Everyday feels like Groundhog Day having to do the same cleaning to keep on top of it.

I also heard a really helpful tip from an ADHD group on Facebook. The woman said part of the frustration with housework comes from the impossible idea that you can ever be finished it. It is this that causes frustration. Instead frame as unfinishable and cyclical. That way you don't go to bed feeling like a failure because you didn't finish the washing, ironing, hoovering. Instead you think about what part of the cycle you're at. "I've got thought the washing cycle and tomorrow is the drying and hoovering cycle".

We invite family over for Christmas, Easter, children's birthdays and ,yes, it's work but it's nice to see them, not that often and the children enjoy seeing family. Grin and bear it, I'm afraid.

I know all people with ASD are different but I have watched 2 families raise their children with ASD with very different attitudes. One raised by encouraging their children to be helpful and look at it as a skill they would need and the other actively wouldn’t let her child do anything. As much as capability levels are different for all adults and children whether ND or NT if they can be encouraged to do even the smallest thing then please do this.

As long as nature follows its natural path one day we will be gone and we leave our children hopefully equipped with as many skills as possible.