Lifestyle coach - feel like I've been conned

[haventgivenuphopeyet]

Hi,

Please be kind as I'm embarrassed to be in this situation but feel this person is preying on vulnerable people.

I signed up for some coaching to deal with an event in my life that has caused me a lot of pain and is affecting my well-being. (I'm also having therapy with an actual psychotherapist). It was supposed to be a way of getting some advice and a plan with some actionable points to try and move forward. This person does not actually have a website. I'm embarrassed to say they advertised their coaching services on a social media site, which is where they advertise their business. With desperation came a silly decision on my part. Along with some admittedly competitive rates there is a seemingly very long list of qualifications related to supporting those in my position. But as I said : no website and no actual proof of qualifications. I joined a waiting list to sign up for the services and paid the fee immediately. There are many, many others on this list so I'm sure it's potentially a very good earner.

I was then asked to fill in a questionnaire with further details pertaining to the event I'm struggling with. This was almost 3 weeks ago. The terms and conditions set out by the coach implied that within 1 to 14 days of having this initial consultation, I'd receive a personalized plan. I've received nothing. I've sent several messages so far and received non replies or very obvious lies to explain away the delay. I realise this is a bit of a niche situation and thankfully I haven't paid an enormous amount of money but on principle I feel upset that the terms set out haven't been met. I know I could just ask for my money back but does anyone happen to have some advice on what they would do? Do I have any actual rights here? I'm genuinely wondering if this person is even qualified so there are more worrying implications here. I've been wondering if it's worth trying Citizen's Advice Bureau but not sure it's the kind of thing they'd help with? I also can't help wondering how many others are in my position: struggling emotionally, giving them money and getting nothing in return.

I really appreciate your help in advance.

Thank you.

Do a charge back through your bank, failing that small claims court?

There are no formal qualifications to be a coach like this of any kind. You could do a chargeback and report it as goods not received with your bank or ask her for your money back.

Point out that the terms haven’t been fulfilled and request your money back. That’s step one.

Sorry this has happened to you. No one should be pointing the finger at you and you’re right that targeting vulnerability is exactly what they’re doing. I’m afraid social media is littered the con artists selling themselves as coaches or pyramid selling coaching packages (or both). Most of them have zero qualifications or expertise and many are collecting money for nothing at all. One of the problems is that these kind of coaches often end up offering to help with problems that are more clinical in nature and end up damaging people that way (as well as the financial damage). They are often ex-MLM. I have a bit of a list running of the most prolific ones. You could try checking their name on the Scampulse website to see if they have other victims. Often their reviews are very positive due to heavy editing or their “customers” are also selling their coaching packages/method and therefore are being positive for other reasons.

Depending on how you paid I would try via your bank as @Mercurial123 suggests. I would also speak to CA because the more people report these things the better and they may be able to help. The small claims process might also be useful - is the coach based in the UK?

Thanks so much for the replies and to everyone for being so kind. I really do feel so embarrassed to have been so stupid. I'm an intelligent professional woman but I'm going through something that's incredibly challenging and in desperation I saw a real way forward through this 'coach.' It is worth mentioning this pertains to something that has been going on for years and that I had spent a lot of money exploring other avenues first.

To respond to a previous post: she does list a website where she alleges she achieved this 'qualification' but of course you're right that there are no real formal qualifications you can get to do this work. And it's scary to think that this person is trusted to give advice on things that only qualified people should do.

I'd never actually heard of charging back before so thanks to those suggesting it. Without wanting to disclose too much, there are some other serious alarm bells I have about this person besides not providing the services promised after taking my money. So part of the reason I haven't just asked for it back yet is that I've been quietly biding my time and collating evidence until I have figured out what course of action I want to take. As I mentioned, the waiting list for this coaching service is very long and I fear there are several others on my position. I feel incredibly upset to think of how many other vulnerable people have been conned out of their money. I'll certainly be starting with CAB on Tuesday but in the meantime it's so helpful to hear from others here so thank you again.

@YouOKHun yes they are based in the UK. I hadn't realized how common this was and it's horrific honestly. I will try to search the name on that website. Thank you so much.

Don’t be embarrassed @haventgivenuphopeyet con artists don’t target intelligence, they target vulnerability which is why so many coaches have slid towards offering mental health coaching or allowing what they offer to drift towards that if it looks like a rich seam. I know some very smart people who, because of a particular vulnerability (social isolation, MH problem, job loss, relationship breakdown, bereavement, childhood issues for example) are vulnerable to the promises, assurances, toxic positivity, ego boosting and gaslighting and the hope on offer and have signed up for coaches and cult-like organisations, despite being educated, intelligent people. I wonder if the waiting list for this coach is really as long as they claim. It sounds like a hook to me. But then I am an old cynic.

It is sadly quite a common problem partly because, as @CosmicCuppa says, there are really no barriers to entry, anyone can set themselves up as a coach, online it’s even easier. There are professional coaches out there with experience and much to contribute and I feel rather sorry for those ones who try to operate ethically and finding the term “coach” increasingly tainted.

Best of luck getting your money back. I hope you find the support you are looking for. There are other forms of structured psychotherapy which offer a more goal-oriented coaching style support but with proper clinical experience (psychologists and such like). The Professional Standards Authority has lists of professional organisations they’ve accredited who have registered members. Of course there are no guarantees but the more hoops people have to jump through to train and accredit the better. I’m a psychotherapist and recognise the same problem with the ease anyone can claim to be a therapist. I feel bad for anyone seeking support at a vulnerable time and having to try and work out who is credible and safe.

Is there a way to contact her from another email just to see if she replies to a potential new customer?

I can't thank you enough for such an incredibly kind and thoughtful reply. I'll explore the more structured therapy, thank you. Without wanting to give too much away, what I'm dealing with does require quite specific support that branches out into health/lifestyle. It's possible you can work out what that is. I'm just trying to keep details as vague as I can on the off-chance this person reads these threads. I'm lucky to receive weekly psychotherapy with a very much qualified professional through work though, which is something. It's not something that will help me reach this 'goal,' but it's helping with the emotional toll it's taken on me.

I completely agree that there must well be many honest coaches out there and it's so unfair their reputation is tainted by charlatans like this. One of the things that's most shocking and upsetting to me is that this person has personal experience of the same issue and so one would expect her to have some compassion. And to understand what it's like to be going through this - not to take advantage of vulnerable people.

Thanks so much again. You've made me feel less silly for falling into this trap. I'm looking forward to speaking to CAB on Tuesday and finding a way forward. 😊

This is the thing. There's no website - no email. The services are advertised on social media and contact has been through phone messaging. Otherwise this would have been an excellent idea. I'm keeping a trail though as proof that the terms set out haven't been met. There was certainly a lot of enthusiasm up until her payment was received. Funnily enough it's since dissipated completely!

I just wanted to resurrect and bump this one last time in case anyone else had some advice please. I'm going to call Citizens Advice this morning but not sure how much they can realistically advise and feel weirdly anxious/embarrassed about it. In the 'terms' set out by this supposed coach, I should have received this plan a minimum of 17 days ago and a maximum of 5. I remain empty-handed and so upset that I've been taken for a fool at a vulnerable time. Does anyone happen to know if I have any rights here? There is no website with an official set of terms and conditions but I have her own words in writing. As an aside, I'd be stunned if she's declared any of this income with the lack of professionalism on display and there are over 100 people and counting who've also signed up.

I would just do a chargeback as ‘goods not received’ via my bank and not give it any further thought.

How did you pay this person?

If it was by credit or debit card, simply request a chargeback through your bank.

If you paid by bank transfer then you have absolutely no way of getting your money back whatsoever.

IME Citizens Advice are useless.

I did unfortunately pay by bank transfer. Can I ask why this prevents me from getting my money back? It is not a large sum and obviously if all else fails I will just ask for it back as she's broken her terms. I'm just disgusted to think how many others are being ripped off, which is why I'd thought about contacting citizen's advice.

Would Action Fraud be able to give guidance? Is it still possible to view and post on her page? Is it like a tik tok type account?