Ideas go when children start to stay over in their dads

[Strawber]

Me and DH separated and we had 3 young children. I’m am going to be devastated when the time comes that they spend overnights with him. I will be at work during the day but free those evenings. I am going to start some health habits or activities in due course.

But first I want a list of things to do to cheer myself up, bit of me time for a change.

1. lie in bed with a cheese board and stuff my face

that’s all I’ve got. I’m thinking things to all fulfill my inner child like eat as much cake just because I can

When I first split up with my kids dads I had lots of long baths, made the best of long summer evenings and to be honest drank a lot of wine.

Reconnect with your friends!
join in on some holistic activities
get a dog
pamper yourself
rest!!!
dull as it is, catch up on chores so you’re ahead but don’t spend all of your time doing that
volunteer
read
invest in some sex toys if you haven’t already
go walking
have therapy
batch cook

a great tip I was given recently was to write yourself a no limits list of all the things you used to do before you had kids that you don’t really do any more

Have a takeaway and lazy evening in front of the tv
Go out with friends
Do a home spa evening: bubble bath, pedicure etc
Eventually romantic evenings with your new partner!

I’d be inclined to use it for all those things you don’t often get to do as a mum, long bath, face pack, cinema / theatre, gym / swim, sewing time / different hobby, early night, hot curry ….

I found I had to be planned up and busy ever single night my children weren’t there, for years. I couldn’t consider just being home hanging out without them. I understand what you are saying so much. Things I did:
went to cinema with a friend
went a late evening run
went out for dinner with family/friend
went to an exercise class
went for evening swim

I used to do all my chores, go shopping, read, see friends and use the gym. I really let myself enjoy that time and I was fully present as mum when they came back

I spend money I've not got on a cinema card so I can go as often as I like.

I often go to see two films back to back. Take popcorn from Tesco obvs.

Also: exercise.

My and my sons dad split when he was 18 months, and he started having him overnight every Saturday at 2 and a half. The first couple of times I was anxious and couldn’t stop thinking about it, now I love the break. Sounds horrid but my sons now nearly 4 and as much as I adore him, he’s a handful, so that weekend just gives me a breather to have a bath, do some gardening, she my friends, drive down south to where my family are etc. It’ll get easier once it’s happened a few times 🩷