Guests staying after a party

[Weddingname457]

Hello,

We are hosting a celebration party at our home. We have room for two guests maximum to stay afterwards. We have a lot of family/friends who will be traveling for this. Some will choose to not drink alcohol and drive home, some might choose to stay in a hotel, but we know some will expect to stay (as this is what they usually do when they visit).

we can’t have all the people who would usually visit and stay, to stay and we also cannot pay for hotels for them. How would you manage expectations/choose who stays?

my thoughts are just put a blanket ‘we can’t accommodate anyone this time’. I actually would quite like this as I’ll likely want to be alone the day after anyway to tidy up and sort everything out.

Would anyone assume they can stay over? Surely you just don't offer?

Yes I would make it clear that you can’t accommodate anybody before they start assuming they can stay

It’s find to say that you can’t accommodate anyone.

Why on earth would you even consider paying for THEIR hotel stay???

Of course, send a text to make it very clear that people can't stay- why wouldn't you???

First come first served! If people ask you if they can stay then you say yes to the first two? The rest get a ‘ Sorry, no room’ and they sort their own accommodation out.

I’ve seen before on here people saying you should pay for hotels especially parents! Not that I agree with it but wanted to clarify that’s not in budget ha!

Yes- a couple of family members in particular would! I’m working out how to say no

I had this recently and when I sent the invite I sent places to stay with it. I chose who is going to stay in our spare room as they have been ill so felt they should have the least hassle. One set are camping in the garden and others staying near by. You just have to be clear from the outset.

If it’s a family party- I would offer the spare room to the one who needs it most- elderly grandparents for example.

Then anyone who complains that they should have the room instead looks like a twat.

I don’t think people will necessarily complain, we just don’t know how to let people down or choose 1 over the other to have the room? I’m also not really sure I want anyone staying.

I’d just give a blanket ‘sorry, we’re not able to offer anyone a room this year’ and if people choose not to come then so be it.

If there’s a close family member or friend who is on their own / older and would find it more difficult to access a hotel then I’d offer the room to them. As for the others let them know now so they can plan.

If there is no obvious person who needs it- then you are just going to have to be upfront and say that loads of people staying over isn’t possible. You don’t have to offer to pay for it.

Years and years ago my sisters and I threw a 40th wedding anniversary party for my parents at their house. It was my job to send invitations. I researched B&Bs and hotels locally and sent that information with the invitation, with a note saying that if anyone needed to stay somewhere after the party these were some options they could consider.

Maybe you could do something similar? Just say something like 'we're sorry we can't offer any overnight accomodation, but these are some places to stay within 15 minutes (or whatever) of our house if you need to stay somewhere overnight.

Yes just say you can’t accommodate anyone then you can’t be accused of choosing some over others. I’d pre empt requests or assumptions by saying ahead of time sorry we can’t accommodate overnight guests this time, heres some local hotels if you need them

This shouldn’t really be difficult. At the time of inviting, you just add “Sorry we can’t have anyone to stay this time, we’d recommend booking hotels soon if you don’t want to drive home after the party”

If you’ve already invited people to the party then you just send another message out now “Looking forward to our celebrations! We’ll be doing a BBQ and have a range of drinks (or whatever it is you’re doing)…” and then add the bit above. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes- a couple of family members in particular would! I’m working out how to say no

Have you actually invited people yet?

Send out the info with the invite-'please come to my 40th/50th etc, sorry we can't have anyone to stay over this time, shout if you want details of local hotels though!'

I would definitely tell everyone at the same time as inviting them that you won’t be having any stay overnight. Weekend guests are one thing but having people still there the day after a party is wearing and inconvenient. I either want to spring into action, opening windows and having a good clean up, or I want a long lie in. Neither of which can be comfortably done with guests in the house.

Don’t have anyone to stay - you don’t want to and it avoids you “favouring” anyone. People should understand that being accommodated a couple at a time on a general visit is very different to having space for all and sundry after a party!

When issuing the invite include a note saying that you will not be able to accommodate anyone this time and include details of a couple of local hotels. that way you aren’t favouring anyone and you get your home to yourself after the party.

I would either speak to those you want to invite to stay first or just say yes in a first come first served basis otherwise fine to say no as it is a lot hosting evening guests as well as a party. It is awkward to say but surely they'll bring it up before the day if they want to stay?