Which school would you choose?

[sarahb083]

We didn’t get our preferred primary school due to a much smaller catchment this year. The school we were given is a 10 minute walk which I love, but it’s an academy and I’m not sure the rote, memorisation style learning they seem to have would be a good fit for my DD.

The alternative is a small private school a 10 minute drive away. Class sizes of 18, a focus on community, and a lot more attention.

I’d prefer to build a community in our local area but I can’t help but feel I’d be doing my quiet, sensitive DD a disservice by sending her to a large school. We only have one child and could pay the fees without much issue.

I also grew up quite poor and my mum worked really hard to send me to a great school and has generally pushed me a lot. I think this is clouding my judgement - it feels counterintuitive to send DD to a very mixed income school when my mum pushed me so hard so that I could be successful. State school is much more aligned to my own personal values though.

which would you choose?

The state school where she will meet others from all walks of life and can walk to school.

Firstly, don't assume big schools are worse. Most schools seem big when you have a 4yo but that can be a benefit later on in terms of friendship pool and what the school offers. Larger schools often have separate playgrounds, staggered lunch times etc so they are mainly around similar aged children.

Secondly what makes you say 'rote learning'? Are we talking about drilling of spellings/times tables or repeating back historical facts? I would be surprised at the second, and Reception should be mostly play based anyway. My kids go to academies. DD's junior school has a very set curriculum where the exercise books are printed with all the lessons. I was not a fan at first but have come round. It gives teachers the basic structure but they still have flexibility in the delivery, and still do practical learning e.g. acting it out, having workshops.

The most important success factor at primary school is parental involvement. Your DD can do well at a mixed school with your support. You can instill a love of learning (alongside the school). However only you can directly compare these two schools. If you prefer what the private school offers and can afford it easily then that's a reasonable choice to make. You will have a slightly more spread out community, but that might be worth it for the school experience. Have you viewed the state school?

Thank you @GeorgianaM

@BendingSpoons that’s really useful, thank you. The academy is part of a very large trust and the “rote” learning is what I’ve read on other threads about this trust. I haven’t seen the school but I think that will really help - I feel like I’m going in blind!

It feels like a huge choice - like I’m setting the trajectory for the rest of her life with this decision! I know logically that I’m not, but I’m really worried about making the “wrong” choice.

You can always start at the state and move her if it doesn’t suit. A decision now is not binding for her whole school career

What do you mean by 'large' school?
Remember your quiet 4yo needs to be able to grow and expand and by 11 will be very different.

As PP says, you can only make the right decision for now.

If the trust name happens to start with an H, it might be the same one!

Start her off in the state

is putting her name on the waiting list for your first choice an option? There is a lot of movement between now and September

Yes @BendingSpoons it does start with an H! Have you been happy with your school?

Look round the state school and get a feel for it. Then make your decision.

How competitive would it be to get your DD into the private school later? So long as they have spaces, you could start her at the state school then move her if necessary. It really is OK to change.

How much do you love the private school? If it's amazing, then you're likely to come to the end of her education feeling that it was worth the cost and travel - but if it's just 'not the state school', you're less likely to.

Are you comfortable financially with the fees all the way through? Fees are usually low at pre-prep, but go up steeply. Changing sector at Y7 or 6th form is absolutely fine, but best to avoid changing from private to state within those stages.

Lots of people prioritise private secondary. I think a really good private primary is equally worthwhile for the personal development. (A not so good private primary: less so) But ymmv.

Only you know how important walking rather than driving is to you. You'd still make a community with private school parents (there will be plenty of parties and playdates), and your DD will also get to know kids locally anyway (especially if she does activities locally). But being able to walk to school with a neighbour is certainly a significant plus for your local school.

Do go round the different schools you could choose from, ask lots of questions, and get a feel for how they match to your ideas and family values. That actually really matters.

Take your DD with you when you visit, and see both how the teachers are with her (and other children you see) and also - importantly - how she reacts to the environment. You say your DD is quiet and sensitive. A noisy, echoing environment might be physically difficult for her to learn in. Sure, she can wear ear defenders - some kids do - but it's not ideal.

I would choose the state school. Most private schools aren’t worth the fees and the two small private schools that were near me have recently had to close for financial reasons.

quiet children can do well at bigger schools and they often have better resources. I’d keep an open mind and go and see it.

Yes we have been happy with the school. I was a bit put off initially by the 'sales pitch' about how great being part of the trust was, as it felt a bit corporate. In reality DD is doing really well at the school (she is junior age). She is very academic and being challenged reasonably well. There are quite a few opportunities e.g. trips, workshops, sports clubs, music lesson. She loves her teacher and the teachers generally seem kind and caring. The head teacher is proactive and gets stuff done but still caring and takes time to listen to parents. It's not perfect, DD complains the class are very chatty and they are always being told off about this, but I can live with chatty, as opposed to unkind! She also sometimes complains the teacher spends ages explaining something easy (to her) but that's part of being in a class of 30 of mixed abilities.

The trust has a reputation of taking on struggling secondaries and running them based on their high expectations and fairly strict ethos. I think this can work well for some, but others feel it's too strict. I couldn't get my head round how this would work at primary, but we don't have any concerns and the school isn't particularly strict. In reality it is a huge trust and schools will vary, partly due their head teacher and also local factors. I would aim to view the school with an open mind and then make your decision. Good luck deciding!

the two small private schools that were near me have recently had to close for financial reasons.

That's actually a very good point. A lot of small prep schools are closing just now because of the impact of VAT, NI and business rates. More will close down in the next 2 years.

If that happens unexpectedly, you could be looking for a school place in-year along with all the other kids in her class, and so may get a far worse option.

School accounts are usually available publically. It would be worth finding them and having a look. Maybe also asking the headteacher during your visit about how secure they are financially: they will paint it in good light of course, but it might give you some insights.

If you have the money then absolutely go for the private school.

Send her to the state school with a view to move her to the private in year 3 or 4 if you feel the need. You then get the best of both worlds, she’ll make local friends and be part of the community but if the school isn’t for her you can move later.

I would choose the state school. You can always opt for private later when it counts.

My dc go to academy schools (primary and secondary). We live in an area where there are no other options. The one private school is absolutely shite. We used to live in a different county and went to a CoE school and I would definitely say, side by side comparison, the academy schools have been better.

Honestly, all learning has to follow the national curriculum. There will be no more rote learning than in any other primary school. It’s all very samey. Behavioural issues and pastoral care are much more important.

Sounds like what you have is someone who isn’t happy who just happens to be very vocal on Facebook. My experience, particularly with secondary school, has been that there is a minority of very moany parents on social media.

These parents are often the ones who can’t be bothered to get up in time to get their children to school. Or kick off because their expressive little darlings aren’t allowed to come to school with purple hair. Or are angry because the new behaviour policy means their child is in detention every day. 🙄 There will always be a handful of these and you can ignore. They shout very loudly though.

I’d go visit the state primary and see how you feel. I think local friends who have more diversity than private school will make possible are really important at this age. You can reconsider at Y3 or secondary school if it’s not a good fit.

Private all the way!

Sadly we will never afford to send our children to private school but will be doing our best to send them to the least scrotey state school.

You become who you mix with.

I would start her at the state primary and see how it goes.

Thanks all, really useful suggestions.