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Original poster

Ancestry - good idea, or don't touch it with a bargepole?

76 replies

Beeinalily · 18/04/2025 06:10

I've always been curious about my family, and I'm wondering whether to sign up to one of these family tree type things. My family is a mixed bag though, and I think I might find out some things that I'd rather not know! Have you ever done it, and was it a good idea, or did you regret it?

OP posts:
SnoozingFox · 18/04/2025 09:51

I work professionally in this field and have MSc qualifications and accreditations in genealogy, use this site constantly.

I think you need to be clear @Beeinalily what you mean by "Ancestry". The Ancestry site, or competitors like FindMyPast or Myheritage provide records where you may or may not find ancestors. Things like census records, passenger lists, baptism records. Because of privacy laws these are generally over 100 years old so you need to get that far back on your own by asking older relatives or requesting original certificates. The sites also let you build your tree on their website but you don't have to do it that way, there are offline ways of doing it too - the basic RootsMagic software for example is free.

Ancestry also offers DNA testing which will take your sample and match it with other people who have taken the test and share a % of your DNA. All these tests can do is give you a list of people who share your DNA and suggest how you might be related, they cannot do the work for you or build a tree for you. DNA is a genealogical tool, not a shortcut.

SnoozingFox · 18/04/2025 09:56

XelaM · 18/04/2025 09:40

I would never give my DNA to those companies having watched many true crime documentaries about how police use those databanks.

American crime documentaries?

British police cannot by law access commercial databases like those held by Ancestry. They can ONLY look for familial matches on the police database, samples from people who have been arrested and charged.

There is lots of information on the Ancestry site about how they manage police access in the US - they need a subpoena from a Grand Jury. These details are often glossed over, and people making documentaries for a US audience are unlikely to state that this only applies in America. Which makes people worried that their local police station can just log into Ancestry and find out lots of info about them.

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 10:02

I've been doing my family tree for over 40 years and I have over 100 trees on Ancestry as I do them for other people in return for donations to charity. Here's my advice:

For every person you add to you tree, make sure you have a valid source (ideally triangulate at least 3 sources). Someone else's tree is not a source and in fact is often wrong.

Ancestry isn't brilliant at searching - I use Find MY Past alongside it as it's better for searching.

Don't believe everything people say about themselves and their family. People tell lies more often than you might think eg about their age or their parenthood. Try to find the original evidence.

Mistakes can be made on official forms eg ages and name spellings (very common). Look for several pieces of evidence and don't just rely on one.

If you find an ancestor with a common name then you have to be super vigilant because that Mary Taylor/Tailer/Tayler might not be yours.

Beware of Ancestry hints - some are helpful but you could end up down a rabbit hole, following someone who isn't related to you.

There's loads more I could add but I suggest you join RootsChat as there are lots of people there who will help you. There's also a good genealogy board here. Good luck!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
BearPear · 18/04/2025 10:03

I’ve had a subscription for years, it was pretty obvious early on that a lot of people cut & paste from other trees - complete with errors! As an example my great-grandma was raised be her aunt, she was named as “daughter” on a census so people have taken that as fact, and others have copied it!
I’ve done the DNA as well and found all sorts of interesting stuff!

Hoppinggreen · 18/04/2025 10:07

DH did it and we found out something not very nice, although to be fair I had my suspicions for a while and it confirmed something more than anything. DH thought about it and then decided that it made no difference at all. We have no idea if anyone else in the family knows (they may suspect) but DH won't be mentioning it
I did mine recently and it was very boring

PhilippaGeorgiou · 18/04/2025 10:16

I'm with the "it's a rabbit hole but I love it" bunch. Pre-internet it was hard going but I am now reliably back to 1300's - heped by a very, very unexpected find that made getting that far easy, and I hope to get a bit further back.

LlynTegid · 18/04/2025 10:21

Yes I did the parts that others in the family had not done. Even though the main thing I found out was that several ancestors died in the Holocaust, I think I should know this so I can remember them and have visited memorials.

Original poster
Beeinalily · 18/04/2025 10:28

I honestly didn't expect so many replies, thank you all so much. There is one relative - my great grandmother - who I'm particularly interested in. She was put in an asylum and it's hard to find out why or whether she ever came out. I think the answer might break my heart though. Perhaps it's a medium I should be consulting!

OP posts:
JustSawJohnny · 18/04/2025 10:34

It's caused a bit of trouble in my family.

My Mum was adopted and has always been opposed to looking for her birth Mother. That is obviously 100% her choice but a bitch of a cousin has been digging and has found members of her birth family living fairly close by, her birth Mum's name etc and told other members of the family about it.

It really hurt DMum and has caused a lot of upset. She cannot now carry on without knowing her birth Mom's name, or that she has sisters etc nearby, and it's just so unfair to have her choices trampled over like that.

People can be nosey, spiteful, overstepping arseholes and need to think before they throw bombs into other people's lives.

BestIsWest · 18/04/2025 10:45

I love it and have always been fascinated by family history and it was something my late DF and I did together.

Even in our family which I’d thought was fairly straightforward a few skeletons have shown up. For example, someone has shown up as a DNA link to me who appears to be the daughter of a relative and an American, potentially a GI. No one has ever mentioned her existence. Was she adopted at birth? Do her half brothers know of her existence?

I certainly won’t pursue it or ask questions but I’m quietly curious.

GremlinDolphin4 · 18/04/2025 11:00

I did an Ancestry DNA test in 2018 aged 50 naively for fun, totally confident in my immediate family, basically to see if my grandpa was a real Viking.

Got my world totally shaken to find out my beloved Dad is not my biological father! I now have a whole family in another country! It has eventually turned out well all round and I have accepted the decisions all my parents made but it has been hard. I now belong to an international group for people (NPEs Not Parent Expected) who have had this happen to them as a result of a DNA test and a large percentage of them suffer real trauma.

Be very clear in your head why you are doing a test and the implications, is all I can say!

jennylamb1 · 18/04/2025 11:01

Beeinalily · 18/04/2025 10:28

I honestly didn't expect so many replies, thank you all so much. There is one relative - my great grandmother - who I'm particularly interested in. She was put in an asylum and it's hard to find out why or whether she ever came out. I think the answer might break my heart though. Perhaps it's a medium I should be consulting!

I’ve found this in my tree, to put it into context, sadly 1 in 3 people experience mental difficulties so this is unfortunately fairly common. However, that’s not to say that ancestors like this didn’t also have good times and loving relatives, lives are often quite nuanced.

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 11:04

Beeinalily · 18/04/2025 10:28

I honestly didn't expect so many replies, thank you all so much. There is one relative - my great grandmother - who I'm particularly interested in. She was put in an asylum and it's hard to find out why or whether she ever came out. I think the answer might break my heart though. Perhaps it's a medium I should be consulting!

You should be able to find her death certificate, which will tell you when and where she died and the cause. If you want me to try and find it for you (no charge!) send me a PM.

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 18/04/2025 11:07

I started researching my family tree (on Ancestry) during Covid. I really love it. I've been able to shed light on various family stories, and have found photos of eg a beloved uncle when he was young, posted by distant relatives. It's given me more of an understanding of my roots, and some incredible coincidences. There has been one downside - I found a load of newspaper reports about my grandfather that prove what my DM said, that he was not a nice man. He was a criminal and I'm descended from him. But OTOH I've found ancestors back to the 1500s and have been able to visit the church and see the font they were baptized in! So mostly good stuff. Join the Ancestry and Ancestry Discussion groups on FB too - the people there are very helpful.

ColourlessGreenIdeasSleepFuriously · 18/04/2025 11:08

Given the way the world is going I don't want my DNA in a database. I can imagine the Orbans and Farages and Le Pens of this world getting their grubby mitts on it all too easily.

ForPearlViper · 18/04/2025 11:11

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 10:02

I've been doing my family tree for over 40 years and I have over 100 trees on Ancestry as I do them for other people in return for donations to charity. Here's my advice:

For every person you add to you tree, make sure you have a valid source (ideally triangulate at least 3 sources). Someone else's tree is not a source and in fact is often wrong.

Ancestry isn't brilliant at searching - I use Find MY Past alongside it as it's better for searching.

Don't believe everything people say about themselves and their family. People tell lies more often than you might think eg about their age or their parenthood. Try to find the original evidence.

Mistakes can be made on official forms eg ages and name spellings (very common). Look for several pieces of evidence and don't just rely on one.

If you find an ancestor with a common name then you have to be super vigilant because that Mary Taylor/Tailer/Tayler might not be yours.

Beware of Ancestry hints - some are helpful but you could end up down a rabbit hole, following someone who isn't related to you.

There's loads more I could add but I suggest you join RootsChat as there are lots of people there who will help you. There's also a good genealogy board here. Good luck!

The country I'm searching has excellent free digital records but I'm still sticking with Ancestry for a bit. Being able to search other people's trees is very useful and almost immediately helped me find a relation with a lot of information and photos I'd never seen. However this is also a danger as @Shetlands says. One person makes a mistake and then others copy it from tree to tree. My own paternal grandmother is wrong on multiple people's trees - wrong age, wrong area. You need to be particularly careful where people have searched in other countries and may not be familiar with the history, culture or geography involved. Triple check everything.

We hear a lot about surprises and scandals but I'd say be prepared for it to be a bit mundane especially if you come from rural stock. Generations of farmers from the same hamlet. Unless the DNA results I'm waiting on tell me otherwise!

romdowa · 18/04/2025 11:21

I've always been curious about doing ancestry dna , there's a whole mystery around who one of my great grandfather's is and I'd love to see if I could solve the mystery but I'm also reluctant as it's clearly kept secret for a reason . I suspect he was married or something

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 11:25

Amongst the many trees I've done, there's lots of mundane stuff in rural hamlets as @ForPearlViper points out. There can also be great illustrations of the industrial revolution as families move out of the villages to work in the mills, the factories and the mines. You can find a tenant farmer's son starting a business in town and becoming a pillar of 19th century middle class society. There's also tragedy of course with many a young servant girl ending up pregnant and in the workhouse. Whole families can descend into brutal poverty if the breadwinner dies. The range of family histories is huge eg I've researched a couple of trees leading back to aristocracy and even monarchy!

TokyoKyoto · 18/04/2025 11:36

Without even trying I know a story of a woman who discovered her sister had a different father to her (and it was their mother's boss).

I also know someone who was involved tangentially in solving a murder in the US using data from one of these sites.

In my own family, my great-grandfather had 3 illegitimate siblings, and we don't know any of the families. I have to admit I'm quite interested, and could in theory get my grandmother to do it and therefore trace her cousins' families. But in all honesty, what do we gain? It's just nosiness.

ForPearlViper · 18/04/2025 12:06

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 11:25

Amongst the many trees I've done, there's lots of mundane stuff in rural hamlets as @ForPearlViper points out. There can also be great illustrations of the industrial revolution as families move out of the villages to work in the mills, the factories and the mines. You can find a tenant farmer's son starting a business in town and becoming a pillar of 19th century middle class society. There's also tragedy of course with many a young servant girl ending up pregnant and in the workhouse. Whole families can descend into brutal poverty if the breadwinner dies. The range of family histories is huge eg I've researched a couple of trees leading back to aristocracy and even monarchy!

For me it was about reclaiming strands of my family I never knew. Not because of feuds or scandals, just emigration and losing touch. Seeing people emerge from the past in photos is fascinating. I'm more interested in the stories and social history. I'm less interested in finding out I'm descended from a medieval king, especially given that many million others are also likely descended from same king.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 18/04/2025 13:08

@Beeinalily can anyone tell me the web address of the english site which tells you the years of birth and marriage of people. we have scotlands people in scotland and i have a website for ireland. they are free sites connected to government i think.

HotHorseRadish · 18/04/2025 13:21

I’m adopted and did an AncestryDNA test to help me find my birth family after traditional methods failed. It’s been amazing for me and I’m now in touch both of my birth parents and half siblings and cousins etc who are spread across the globe!
I finally feel happy and complete 😊

dancerdog · 18/04/2025 13:22

*allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld *can I ask what Irish site you are using? Thanks

Gettingbysomehow · 18/04/2025 13:24

I can't tell you what to do but it destroyed my life when I did an Ancestry DNA and found out my father wasn't my father. My actual father wants nothing to do with me and is horrified to find out he has a child.
My relationship with my parents has been destroyed and they've decided to emigrate and retire abroad.

Shetlands · 18/04/2025 14:25

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 18/04/2025 13:08

@Beeinalily can anyone tell me the web address of the english site which tells you the years of birth and marriage of people. we have scotlands people in scotland and i have a website for ireland. they are free sites connected to government i think.

This one is an unofficial free index for England and Wales
https://www.freebmd.org.uk

The official one is also free to search the index but you need to register (free)
https://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/certificates/login.asp
If you want a copy of an English or Welsh certificate, you have to pay (more than Scotland's People). Don't order a certificate via Ancestry as it costs more.

Remember that the index doesn't correspond with the month of the event. It tells you the quarter that the event was registered. So if your ancestor was born in November or December 1929, you might find them registered in the 4th quarter of 1929 or the 1st quarter of 1930.