DH said I like to embarrass him

[mynewhouseisfab]

then refused to discuss. I'm really upset. I adore him and trying to embarrass him would be the last thing I would ever want to do

Maybe I'm the embarrassment

I'm feeling v low right now

Do you make fun of him or speak about him

Never. I totally adore him and would never do anything like that

It sounds like he hasn’t expressed himself very well and you don’t know what the problem is. You need to ask him and he needs to be willing to have an open conversation with you.

Can you give any examples?

Maybe it's because I'm a bit over weight or maybe it's because I'm ugly. Just need him to tell me

It sounds as though your self esteem is pretty low OP.
Does he have form for being unpleasant to.you?

Do you mean you think your very presence embarrasses him? That's so sad.

He said ‘you like to embarrass him’. That implies you deliberately say things in front of other people or his family to make him feel bad. I know friends of ours and the wife ‘teases’ her husband in front of us. Only it is not teasing, it’s bullying.
She would say she is joking but I can see he hates it.
Are you sure you don’t tease him or moan about him to friends or family members?

Or maybe he's just not very nice to you and likes to put you down and keep you in your place. Because he's an arse.

he sounds like a cock. Either he explains himself and you sort the issue because he has been a dick or misunderstood, or he becomes abusive and takes all of your self worth…I’m not sure which way it will go but given your lack of self belief I’m gonna guess it is the latter and has already started

Why would he proactively bring it up, then refuse to discuss it or give any examples? If you genuinely don't know what he means and he won't tell you, it's an impasse. I'd suggest either (1) seeing if he maybe is too upset to discuss it NOW, but the two of you could have an open conversation about it at some point soon, when you're both relaxed and have time and privacy or (2) if it feels like too much for him to dig into the past, could he maybe agree to subtly let you know the NEXT time he feels like he's noticing this behaviour from you - maybe a key word or gesture, if it happens in public?

I really doubt it's how you look or dress or anything like that - unless he maybe feels like you're intentionally going out looking messy or underdressed or similar specifically in order to upset him? If that's the case, though, there might be some self-centered-ness or even narcissism going on with him so that he's failing to see that you're either (1) doing what you like regardless of him or (2) doing your best and maybe not happy, but not thinking that how it impacts HIM is the most important thing?