Best things to take a friend in hospital.

[Muchtoomuchtodo]

A friend has had unplanned surgery and will
be in hospital for at least a week.

I’m fortunate enough to not have been in this position. What would be good to take in when we visit this weekend. It’s for a mid 40’s, usually fit and active, likes gardening and walking, single male.

Some great ideas here, thanks so much everyone.

I’m definitely getting the feeling that asking him is the best idea but there’s some really practical things that can be taken on our first visit (not sure if he’ll reply to messages before then). One friend has a key to his house so we can pick up exactly what he needs from there and we pass a massive supermarket on the way for anything else.

@Muchtoomuchtodo you are a lovely person to make sure he's supported and cared for.

Haribos are great for helping a new stoma to settle , I’d take him a water bottle as he will be drinking lots and the chilled state from the machine and kept cool in a Stanley type mug is a different world to the jugs filled by the auxiliary nurses from the tap.

other things recommended after stoma surgery are salty snacks - but nothing like nuts as they are hard to pass . Don’t take anything like salads or fruit as while they are normally a real treat for a patient they will be on a soft diet for a while - if you can get things like custard pots and deserts that are shelf stable they will be good

Earplugs , a nice wash bag to keep his supplies for stoma in going forward , large wet wipes for keeping fresh

A blackout eye mask. Hospital lights are awful when trying to nap. Also great for ignoring other patients when you want peace!

@Muchtoomuchtodo just to say you sound like a lovely friend, you feel very vulnerable in hospital, a visit from a friend is really really welcome. Earplugs essential, always noisy in hospital even at night, hope your friend recovers quickly

If you have a County magazine for your area, get him a copy of that. He might look forward to exploring something new locally when he gets out.

I think the only thing I would want is for someone to look after my cat! (Assuming, I’ve got the clothes and toiletries I needed.) so o would check any pets are ok.

I wouldn’t take any food of sweets. He may be NIl by mouth until his stoma starts to work. And even then he’ll be on light diet.

A non-plastic pillow with a cotton cover. Hospital pillows can be nasty and sweat-inducing.
Fresh t-shirts, boxers and shorts.
If he is a reader, something easy but pacey to read.
Headphones.
moisuriser/handcream
Toothbrush and toothpaste
Small packets of tissues.

When my dad was in hospital the one thing he asked for was a clock.

Ice cold fizzy cans/ squash/ water
water left in a jug by the bed is awful
i ask everyone for a ice cold Pepsi max cherry. So refreshing as wards can be stifling
Lip balm
Gentle moisturiser
Notebook and pen
cotton Pyjamas or a T shirt( depending how much you’d like to spend
Long phone charger cable
a few pound coins
puzzle/ crossword/ colouring book

You are a lovely friend and I’m sure you’ll make his day when you visit

Thanks all. The troops have rallied, friend has been in touch. Initial supplies are going in today - some from home and the rest being bought en-route.
Fortunately there are no pets to worry about!

What are the pound coins for?

Just in case patient wants something from a vending machine or hospital shop

Probably food. Hospital food is horrible from what I can tell

Fresh fruit, cold drinks as in really cold. Body wipes. Ear plugs!

Ah right, all contactless at our hospital now

If it was unplanned surgery he may be needing all sorts of things - unless he has somebody at home to bring him in the essentials?

He will need pyjamas, light weight dressing gown, slippers or flip flops or something for his feet. Tooth brush and toothpaste, maybe shampoo, shaving stuff. There will be basic shower gel/soap there for him to use but he might have a particular preference.

I got really bored, but I wasn't really up to much reading and I don't like puzzle books. My tablet and phone were essential so I definitely needed to keep them charged and I needed long leads for my chargers. Some sweets to suck helped me with a dry mouth, I also enjoyed some nice shortbread fingers but otherwise I didn't really want food. I like to listen to audiobooks to help me to go sleep and luckily I was in a side room for the first twelve days of my stay so I could put those on my tablet, but if he's on a ward then headphones which are integrated into a bluetooth headband that he could wear at night could be helpful. Wards are really noisy, including at night, so ear plugs can be useful.

Also... breakfast options were limited so I got my DH to bring me in a pot of my favourite home-made jam. It really made breakfast a treat.

My sister sent a framed photo of my loved ones to keep in my line of site. I loved this idea, I couldn’t eat much and flowers don’t really work so for me it was an inspired choice xx

Thanks all.

The plan is that he’ll be discharged tomorrow.

Between us he has had visitors at every session, a good supply of freshly laundered and suitable clothing, ear plugs and an eye mask, snacks and drinks that take his fancy, chargers and a super long charging lead!
Along with plenty of texts and messages of support he’s done really well.

The house is stocked with fresh food of his choosing, all laundry has been done and he’s got clean bed sheets.

What a relief it’ll be to get him home. He can’t drive for 6 weeks (might just be 5 more as it’s one week since his operation) so we’re gearing up to make sure we can cover visits to see him at home, laundry, shopping and any follow up appointments. It’ll be a lot easier without the trek in to the hospital as well.

Your advice has been invaluable and helped us as a group of friends to ensure that we could be as useful as possible during this really challenging week and a bit.

I flag to hear the progress, hope everything continues to go well for you

judt a reminder to not lose sight of yourself in all this. I’m sure you have been holding it all together and are in it for the long term.

The saying that you can’t pour from an empty cup is very relevant here. I hope you are supported do you can have some downtime for yourself, too.

All the best

Esr plugs, wet wipes, nice slippers and gown, mints

Also I think a number of hospitals allow you to order food for patients from Deliveroo et al. But please, please make sure that is you (say Mrs Smith) orders for Mr Brown on X ward that you let the company know it is for Mr Brown on X ward.

We have a number of delivery drivers who give us Mrs Smith's name and of course she is not on the ward!! Trouble is, these drivers speak very little English. We have to ask if there is a code "no" then when a staff member comes down, they ask them for a code number! I have also had to mime money or show my purse with money in it because they don't understand if you ask if it has been paid for!