I have a usual family background, it involves extreme religious stuff. I decided from a young age I didn’t want to be a part of it for many legitimate reasons. My family have always been distant to any member who isn’t religious and dropping those who decide to step back from the religious stuff.
If you are religious in my family you have contact and support, if not you are on your own. It really is as simple as that.
I haven’t had a call or message from my father in around 14 years although religious siblings hear from him a lot.
Over time , despite pleasantries no one wants to know us or spend any time with us.
I have 4 children, one whom has autism , despite my family’s obsession with Christianity and being all about the family they are not remotely interested in me or my children or anything I’ve dealt with over the years. They certainly haven’t helped me and seem allergic to spending time with us. I’ve tried to make an effort but they have no interest apart from over the top messages.
I have to just accept and deal with the situation I have and I really have tried but I struggle with it a lot.
I think the fact that they come across as kind when I think they are absolute hypocrites is something I struggle with a lot . I’ve met families whom my parents have befriended in their church who rave about how amazing my parents and family are but in reality my parents have nothing to do with me and my children . They spend more time with these families than with mine. I mean they spend zero time with mine.
Ive ended up working in the public sector dealing with people from really deprived backgrounds and I work a lot with families of adults with sn. My family members who are religious work only in the private sector with rich people but often go on publicly of how “interested” they are in helping people. They use it almost as publicity when in reality they do nothing for”poor people “,
At the moment it’s Easter half term and in my home town I see mum friends with their kids and family and I just feel so alone , 14 years of this , I’m so sick of it . And I’ve made friends (who all have lovely , normal family ) and I have a wonderful dh but I do miss having a normal parent relationship. I don’t know what to expect from this but I’m just so down about it.. My parents are elderly now and demand nothing ( only close to religious siblings) but I’m sure I look like a terrible child to all but truth is they don’t want me or my dcs around at all.