Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Thinks we see too much of each other....but keeps wanting more

9 replies

Lapbowl · 17/04/2025 12:54

I'm not too troubled by this (not as much as it will seem by posting) but wondering what's really going on in DP's mind. First I'm not sure if he's really DP, but I'm too old for a BF!

Because we were friends before we got together and because we have a lot of shared interest groups, we're together almost every day. Often that will be at a club or similar where we both happen to be in the same place but aren't "seeing" each other, but then we'll have a drink/cuppa after.

Anyway we had a conversation, initiated by him, that we perhaps see each other too frequently and it's good to do things apart. I agree 100% and before we became a thing I'd have said I didn't have time to see anyone more than a handful of times a month. However he is very good at finding ways to squeeze a meet up and lots of the things I'm busy with he's at too. It's nice that he wants to see lots of me.

For example we with due at a "thing" this evening, but we'll be in different groups , will probably do little more than nod at each other, we've arranged to go to the cinema afterwards and we're away together for a couple of nights over the BH weekend, so we have a lot of time together scheduled.

He's just messaged to say how about meeting for a walk before the thing. It's a lovely day, a walk with him is a lovely thing, I'm going to go, even though I agree we should probably see less of each other. So I guess he's in the same place, knows we "should" have time apart but doesn't really want to?

I'm not sure if this is really lovely or a bit of a worry...? Fwiw neither of us have been in a relationship for several years and all his impromptu meet ups are about time together, not booty calls. He'd also be fine if I said no, and I do sometimes, but I'd actually like to go this afternoon.

OP posts:
SantasLargerHelper · 17/04/2025 16:58

Sounds lovely 😍 enjoy your walk.

Terrribletwos · 17/04/2025 16:59

So what's the problem here? Do you feel he's giving you mixed messages?

Lapbowl · 17/04/2025 19:52

No problem really, I just wonder how we actually make this seeing less of each other thing work 🤣

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Whynotaxthisyear · 17/04/2025 21:21

What is wrong with spending more time together if you both want to??

Arlanymor · 17/04/2025 21:24

You both sound quite coy about how much you like each other. Nothing wrong with putting on the 'rational' brakes if it feels it is moving too swiftly and it's great that you both appreciate the need to carve out times for yourselves and your personal pursuits away from one another. But as it stands, if you want to go for a walk with him... go for a walk with him! Isn't it early to be putting rules in the way of fun? Also call him whatever you wish! I love this for you.

AnotherHappyCamper · 17/04/2025 21:28

Eh what? Why do you think seeing less of each other is preferable to just seeing each other whenever you both want to?

Lapbowl · 17/04/2025 23:08

I don't know. I've always felt relationships where people are in each other's pockets are a bit odd. We don't really do anything when we're not together now, as all our friends and interests have merged. I'm not sure that's entirely healthy?

OP posts:
savuni27 · 18/04/2025 01:07

Surely it’s about what you both feel comfortable with? I don’t think there is such thing as spending too much time together as long as you’re both happy with the amount of time.

Arlanymor · 19/04/2025 19:37

Lapbowl · 17/04/2025 23:08

I don't know. I've always felt relationships where people are in each other's pockets are a bit odd. We don't really do anything when we're not together now, as all our friends and interests have merged. I'm not sure that's entirely healthy?

There’s a lot of overthinking here. Some people are blissfully happy that way, some are not - it would drive me mad for example. I need my space and the stuff that’s just for me - but that’s for me to arrange and set up my boundaries.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page