WFH during school holidays

[BergamotMouse]

This is a hypothetical question as haven’t needed it yet but as I’m sat here during the Easter holidays I think my children would be pretty much OK for a day alone, with a parent nearby WFH.

I’m a teacher but my husband WFH. I’m always here but by god, I sometimes need a break in the summer holidays.

They’re nearly 9 &6, great friends and we have a big garden they can build dens in and make mud pies etc. They wouldn’t be just put in front of a screen.

I think this could be OK for an odd day here and there? DH can dip in and out of work and could always catch up in evenings.

I’m just thinking that going back 50 years kids would probably enjoy the freedom and mine are pretty good at making their own fun.

No the nine year old possibly on their own,. but you are basically asking the nine year old to babysit the six year old which is too much responsibility at that age. Your husband needs to be fully focussed in work and ‘dipping in and out’ is not proper child care.
Why not arrange a couple reciprocal play dates to give you a break, or your DH can take the day off here and there?

Not if your husbands employer has standards.

Too young. Why don’t you book them into a holiday club?

i’ve done it for the odd day here and there. I work early before my DH leaves for the day, then I take a big long lunch break to take them out and run them around a bit. They usually entertain themselves before lunch and then after lunch they watch a lot of TV.

It’s fine. You just need to plan your work well so you can make sure you get a lot done during the most focused times.

Depends on dh job? My dh looked after a toddler (each of the three children at pre school age) one day a week. He also looked after dc when they were school age at least half of holidays so I could work very part time (3 hrs a day). He is the boss though. In reality, he would manage about half the amount of work in that time.

Why don’t you have your break day at the weekend instead? I thought the bonus of being a teacher is that you don’t have to pay for childcare in the holidays?

I did it during Covid and it was fine. Depends on kids and your dh’s work of course though.

My employer would be fine about the 9 year old but would expect childcare to be in place for the 6 year old.

As PPs have said you are basically expecting the 9 YO to look after the 6 YO which I don't think is reasonable

Do you not have any holiday clubs you can use?

Absolutely not ok to have 2 primary age kids at home and be "working"

Perhaps I’ve been reading too much Enid Blyton to them. I think it sounds like a nice way to spend an odd day here and there, having adventures and getting up to (safe) mischief.
DH’s job is very flexible, as long as the work is done it doesn’t matter when he does it.

My kids are the same ages and absolutely no way would it work for us.

But I do actually need to focus on work and have meetings and things.

I’m surprised at the responses as to be honest my four year old is okay entertaining himself with a cursory eye, albeit with probably more screens than ideal.

i am also a teacher and would do this if I wanted a day out with friends or similar. If possible I’d try to take them out somewhere for the morning then have them have a chilled afternoon at home. Would that work?

Mine are 8 and 11 and this is the first year we’ve felt able to do this. DH can WFH 2 days a week. There are lots of kids in the neighbourhood who play out so they have plenty of friends and can dip in and out of each others houses. Previously they’d have needed closer supervision but now we let them go off as they please

We live in the country so they’re more like farm children than city children. They get quite a bit of freedom anyway so will play in the garden out of sight, popping in when hungry etc.

I don’t think the older one would feel she was looking after the other, they’re pretty much just like best friends who help each other out.

But I hear all the points. As I say, just a hypothetical. I don’t know where I’d go for a day anyway 🤣. It’s just a long 6 weeks!!

My work wouldn't allow this for primary age children (which does feel a tad late but not much). They're fine with my 12 year old and honestly he's so quiet you wouldn't know he was there and knows not to disturb me unless the house is on fire etc (he does spend too long on screens though so don't do it every day, but have you tried to find childcare for a 12 year old). Add in my 9 year old and it's a whole different story. She does have SEN, but won't spend more than an hour on her own without complaining loudly that she's bored and if left with the 12 year old they fight like cats and dogs.

You clearly think it would work for your children so why not try it out by ignoring them all day and seeing how often they disturb you?

I suspect it would be more often than you think but if not, then you can ask your DH about it

But in any case, does it have to be you all 6 weeks? Surely your DH can take some leave? 6 solid weeks with my kids would drive me mad so I do sympathise

I’ve done this since reception for one day of the holidays. We split the rest between days out with each parent, holiday club and grandparents.

We call it the ‘survival day’ but actually DD loves it. I wouldn’t do it every day but it’s not stressful and she’s not bored. She is pretty sensible and likes her own space though.

People on MN always overreact to this as if everyone that works is industriously chopping through their to do list all day long without a pause.

We both have senior roles and we can more or less do this with similar aged children. We get paid for outcomes not for the minutes sat sitting at our computers.

I think the key is if dh is comfortable telling his boss/team his kids are home. If he’s not then it’s not the right thing to do. I tell my work when my kids are, but I set up most of my life to have them looked after ( I also have a 9 and 6yo). My work is both quite demanding and has a lot of evening work so it is ok to flex sometimes for family though.

For an odd day, it’ll be fine, if your DH has a flexible type of work where he can stop and check in on them regularly, and perhaps work longer hours on other days during the week. As many of us discovered five years ago, when you had to have kids at home and get paid work done, it suddenly becomes possible with a bit of flexibility. Mine were only 4 and 6, and to be honest, I’d never have considered wfh with them around if it wasn’t for the forced situation. But afterwards, for the odd day in the holidays, it’s always been fine. They play together, and are actually quite creative in enetertainjng themselves. I start earlier so I take longer breaks with them, and catch up on my hours on other days.

Why can't they just do all those things in the garden while you lay on the sofa reading a book if you need a break? If you really want a day out at a spa or boozy lunch with mates, could your dh not take a day off? I'm a teacher, my dh is not. He still takes the odd day off here and there in the summer to spend time with the kids as well as a week for a family holiday.

Yes that is fine. No need for 24/7 helicopter parenting. DH could schedule in breaks to spend time with them - say 20 mins at 11 for snack and check in, 45 mins for lunch with them and then you could be back by 4 or something or he could finish at 4 and do more work later. Kids will love it and it will teach them independence.

My kids are the same age, I do this. My 9yr old disturbs me much more than my 6yr old.

I WFH, my boss is absolutely fine with this set up. If I have a meeting they know not to disturb me. We have snack boxes with 3-4 snacks that they can have during the day without asking. They both have Stanley bottles that we fill and usually lasts them most of the day. That pretty much cuts down most of the things they ask for.

I really can’t understand people saying the 6yr old can’t be left alone to entertain themselves. Mine is currently in the garden singing at the top of her voice. She hasn’t been near me in at least an hour. I’m not working today though.