Wonder if I can help this poor woman

[StarDolphins]

I know a woman in my neighbourhood and have done for 5 years. She’s lovely. She lives with her elderly mum & dad. I can have lovely and perfectly normal conversations with her and do so frequently.

She also absolutely believes she’s being followed many people and all these people are connected to a man she used to work with at a school many years ago. Except, she’s not actually being followed. She shouts at people in the street and swears at them to stop following her. She won’t tell her Mum or wider family about it because she said they’ll contact the crisis team.

I feel so sad for her, she must be so tormented and I’ve gently tried to tell her the logical explanations for all these things happening (spot lights shining on her house, etc) but she absolutely believes it and I think she needs help.

Is there anything at all I can do without upsetting her?

She could have psychosis and this is one of her delusions. Some psychotic people will hide their symptoms from family and caregivers for fear of interference, and the medication to treat such an illness comes with some pretty nasty side effects, so they will do things to avoid going onto them. I'm not really sure there's a lot you can do because delusional states are notoriously difficult to address.

She could have some paranoia and be referencing that gang stalking conspiracy theory thing that some vulnerable people believe in. They're not necessarily ill, but just believe in some strange things. I have a friend who firmly believes in chemtrails and being poisoned with harmful metals, but I don't really say anything because I don't want to cause her any upset.

It sounds as though she is already known to the mental health services if she is talking about the crisis team. Ironically in most areas you cannot access this team unless they already have you referred to them! - so you must delay having a crisis till someone has formally referred you!

It is very kind of you to want to help this lady, but this sort of psychosis needs professional help; and it really does sound as though her family are fully aware and hopefully doing their best to hep her if she thinks they will contact the crisis team.

My late OH became psychotic a a result of a neurological disorder and I remember the psychiatrist telling me that these delusional ideas are held much more strongly than any other ideas and that presenting him with logical rebuttals would get me nowhere.

Just smile and say hello I think. Sadly there is probably little else you can do - but somehow I am sure she will sense the warmth in your greetings.

There is nothing that you, as an acquaintance, can do to help someone with that severe a mental illness.

How does her Mum not know if she lives with her?

If you think the Mum genuinely doesn't know, and would call the crisis team if she did, then the way you can help is by telling her Mum what's going on.

She’s severely mentally ill. I don’t think there’s anything whatsoever an acquaintance can do.

With all due respect, some weird people do actually follow/stalk other people, so another person couldn't know for sure it wasn't happening to someone else.

Thank you, I understand. She’s knocks on my door and walks past 8-10 times per day.

She told me she’s on multi-psychotics and anti depressants. It’s so sad for her.

I know it’s not true. The people she claims work for this chap from years ago are not people from out of town (like she insists when I’ve tried to reassure her) that he’s sent. I know a lot of them from the estate. One lives directly opposite me (a young girl) that she shouts& seears ant and I’ve told her that this young girls lives opposite me and I know her but she won’t have it. I also know the spotlight is someone’s security light that that lives higher up on the hill and shines down. I also know that instead of the accused chap sending her letters, it’s her who sends them to him.

I know people do get stalked but it’s sadly not the case here.

I think the mum knows about some historic issues where the police were involved as this lady was writing to the man from the school.

When I’ve said what does your mum say, she says she doesn’t know because she will get the crisis team. So she wanders round looking for these followers with no support whatsoever.

I don’t actually know her mum at all, I’ve never spoken to her. I know where they live but I’d be worried to upset this lady as she sees me as her friend.

I wondered if to contact the Drs and say I’m worried about her but maybe not a great idea then.

Well maybe crisis team do need to be alerted.
You can write to her gp
Remember that getting professional help might be what she needs

To tell a GP about someone, you can raise your concerns without needing their explicit consent, but the GP can't share details due to patient confidentiality. You can use the GP's online form or the NHS app to communicate your concerns, <a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?q=www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/using-an-online-form-to-contact-your-gp-surgery/&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwirifXD4tqMAxX7TKQEHadvAZ0QjJEMegQIBBAC&usg=AOvVaw20LwL0cnPJXbrF_Jfi2Tcg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">says nhs.uk

Thank you for this, I will fill this in. I think it’s the right thing to do for her.

I think it’s hyper vigilance

I would approach it the same way I approached my child’s serious metal illness. I would if, she was shouting while we were chatting, tell her that she is not being kind. I would not offer any logical explanations. I would say I’m happy to chat but not about this, I’m sorry you are struggling with such fears. And that’s it, then I would put all thoughts of helping out of my head. I would also probably start to politely distance myself as uncontrolled mental illness is exhausting, and I would probably end up becoming under suspicion of being a follower.