How to get over a burglary

[purplesofachair]

Last week we were burgled. Intruders broke into the house at 3am took a laptop and our car keys, took the car and left. We only realised when we got up at 7am to get the kids ready for nursery.
We don't know how they got in, the doors were all locked and there's no forced signs of entry but the police said thieves are finding more sophisticated methods so we'll probably never know.
I'm looking for advice on how to move on. No one was hurt, they didn't damage anything. We're going to upgrade our security inside and out. But I just can't get past the feeling someone was in my house, yards away from where me, DH and my kids were sleeping. Especially my kids.
Every little sound is waking me up, or I'm scared to go to sleep, feeling I should stay awake so I'm ready if it happens again.
I'm told this will pass but just looking for advice really from anyone who's been through it. Any ideas on how to feel comfortable in my own house again. Thanks for reading

I'm so sorry for what you've been through! No wonder you're struggling to get past this, I imagine it's a case of feeling better in time, but I've not been through this myself.

Hoping others with advice can help, hopefully you'll feel better once the security is improved.

Physically? Security light, deadbolts (on doors and any windows that slide open like sash windows) or tethers on swing-open windows, pyracantha planted under any bits of fence that are easy to climb over, trim down things like hedges or bushes that obscure your doors or windows from the street so you're not giving them cover, and make sure you never leave keys anywhere in easy reach from windows or letterboxes. Put gardening tools away so they can't be used. Tell your neighbours, encourage nosiness. Its harder to break in to a house if someone is hanging out of a window next door interrogating you. The most reassuring thing for me is the dog but that's not a practical solution for everyone! Your local community police may have some useful advice for you as well.

Psychologically? Be gentle with yourself, having your space invaded is a horrible feeling and it's normal to struggle with it. If you don't know what they touched and that's bothering you, clean everything. Replace a few little decorative bits (or treat yourself to some new ones) to 'reclaim' the space. Use mindfulness techniques or CBT self-coaching questions (you can find these by googling) to talk yourself down if you start catastrophising or find yourself spiralling. Gradually you'll find you go from fear, to wariness, to healthy awareness.

I had this whilst I was renting and I moved, I hated the aftermath.

I think the not knowing how they got in would bother me the most. So much uncertainty.

Surely the police have some idea? What are these new sophisticated methods being used?

I'd worry it was someone I knew. However I'd also be reassured that they were after your belongings and nothing more.

Sorry this isn't much help. PP has some very good advice.

Our burglary wasn’t as traumatic as yours because we were out at the time, but I found giving everything a really good clean made me feel quite a bit more in control. We also installed cameras which made me feel better, except one covering our back door used to be triggered by next door’s cat (in their own garden) turning on their security light which really freaked me out, because I would get a motion alert which then showed an empty room. Once we worked out what it was I calmed down a bit.

I think it really is just time.

I’d have to do something to make me feel safer at night. So I’d be looking at a burglar alarm with a downstairs circuit which could be turned on at night. Or a noisy dog, my dog might be small but nobody would be in the house uninvited without all hell being raised.

We got burgled while we were asleep too. I heard a noise and thought it was one of the dc going to the loo. When I didn't hear the bathroom light click off, I got up to investigate. DC were in bed, so I went downstairs. I could see the front door was wide open, but being half asleep, I just stood there for a sec, then shouted up to dh that the door was open. At that point, the burglar came rushing into the hallway from the living room and out the front door.

It was really awful. No advice as to his you get over it, but just wanted to sympathise.

We had it a couple of times, the first time we were out but they smashed back windows to get in and went through the wardrobe to get to my jewellery box.

I bought all new underwear and tops to replace the ones in the drawers they went through, I couldn't stand the idea of them touching my clothes.

Second time we were at home, they only snatched keys and the car.

In both cases we improved security (different houses) and for me the feel to ensure DD didn't felt violated (she was 20 months and nearly 5) was what helped me see it in a different light, I had to be strong for her.

I found purchasing replacement and making the space mine again definitely helped.

But the worst was when our hotel room was broken in and a handbag next to my bedsite was taken and emptied on the balcony. It took days for me to go to sleep without issues, Luckily it was a hotel, not our house so the feeling lessened when we were back in our normal space.

Thank you for all the empathy and practical advice. It's comforting that we're looking at a lot of the suggestions already and now have some other points to think about. I'm sad it happens to so many people but I appreciate I'm not alone or being dramatic it letting it affect me mentally.
Cleaning did help and I even got gardeners round to power spray the outside. It all just felt tarnished. My immediate struggle to get over is using the hire car we've got while we wait for the insurance to sort itself out. For some ridiculous reason I feel angry with the car for not being mine and don't want to drive it! I know it's irrational but also know I'm just redirecting my emotions. Thank you again for everyone who's taken the time to reply

And I'm also sorry for everyone else who's been through this or similar x

I'm another person who would be extremely bothered by how they got in

Is it possible that someone has been able to get a copy of the key?

I would really focus on that - I mean how they got in - because beefing up security needs to focus on that aspect.

I was burgled once in a rented property, but they broke a window.

It was a case of taking time to get over it, I guess. Sorry that's not very helpful.

sometimes the cheapest things are the most helpful. You can get a doorstop alarm. if I lived in a house I would have those though I can't think how you would place them. Depends on your layout.