How to help dd with ano

[Alfiemoon1]

How do I help dd 23 shes been off sick for 4 weeks with anxiety from her first full time job since completing her masters degree ironically in clinical psychology she's been in the role since November and they are really supportive

In this time she has spoken to the company gp her own gp she is now on anti depressants she was already on anxiety medication she has spoken with the company counsellor she now has a fit note on the basis of a phased return which they have agreed to

I genuinely want to help but every time she is due to go back to work she gets stressed feels unwell I end up giving distraction techniques trying to calm her down and she isn't able to go back. It's draining I am going through a lot of stress as well at the moment. I tried a different tactic this weekend and ignored her comments of feeling unwell and anxious talked about other stuff and she still couldn't go in this morning

She lives with her boyfriend so when i didn't hear from her this morning she always texts me in the morning I was really stressed and anxious which affected me doing my job
She went to bed at 8 pm tonight to prepare for tomorrow going back they have even offered to pick her up but has started texting saying she feels ill can't sleep at the thought of work tomorrow

Obviously no job is worth feeling like this over and i have told her this but i don't know if it's the job or her as she struggled in her previous job working in the local shop. They can't cover the bills if she off sick so i have assured her we will sort it her boyfriend also doesn't work due to mental health issues but is that doing her any favours she needs to work is that teaching her any resilience?I don't enjoy my job particularly I get the Sunday night anxiety and dread but I've got bills to pay so go to work

I just don't know how best to help her and as mentioned I am dealing with a lot of other stuff causing me stress and anxiety at the moment myself plus being perimenopausal which dd is aware of to some extent i am also at breaking point but keep going because I have responsibilities and I am trying to be a good stable example with a good work ethic to both my young adult dc

She needs to find coping mechanisms. She can't stay off work like this because of anxiety and nor can her boyfriend.

Is she having therapy?

Unpopular opinion, but this is ridiculous. The more she is pandered to the more difficult it will be to go back to work. She just has to suck it up and go in or find another job. Most people don't like going to work and would rather stay at home, but most people don't have the luxury to do that. Sounds like her boyfriend is not doing her any favours.

Hmmm they sound like a right pair to be honest.
They are probably feeding each others anxiety and before long they will be holed up together wasting their lives because neither of them can cope with real life.
Please don't tell me either of them smoke weed?
I know it's tempting but personally I would not be financially supporting them both to sit at home, if they can't afford where they are living they will have to find something cheaper that they can afford with whatever benefits they will get.
Don't make it easy for them to check out of life.

Don't start paying their rent and bills. That is really not going to help them.

All of this!

Thanks everyone
She actually went back to work today phew her colleague picked her up so they could go in together despite dd having her own car so that seemed to of helped
She's had a good day said it was nice to see everyone again and is looking forward to the next few days so fingers crossed it stays that way

Her boyfriend lost his dm suddenly so he quit work he lived with his dm but the house is being sold hence why they decided to rent a flat together as he had nowhere to go and at the time only had a week to move but the sale fell through at the last minute he will be apparently be looking for work although I will believe when I see it when the house is sold and he gets his small inheritance

How did you come up with the assumption that 'they are smoking weed'?
So you assume a) that no other factors can contribute to work avoidance/incapacity in life other than smoking, and b) all weed smokers are unable to work and are unmotivared.
Are you living in the 1950s perchance?
You'd be surprised at the number of business types, public sector workers, teachers, etc who use it with no effect on their ability to function at work and to an excellent standard.
Rather have someone using that than alcohol. Which btw, can also cause people to be lazy/unable to function.
Honestly, some of the responses this week have been stupendously daft

Oh do calm down, I didn't assume they were smoking weed....I asked if they were (see the difference?).
I have experience of family members smoking weed to cope with (self diagnosed) anxiety, shockingly they are not the most motivated people on the planet and their work history is sketchy at best.
Unfortunately I don't live in the 1950's, perhaps if I did I might be wafting around the home in a pretty dress instead of slogging my guts out 40 hrs a week to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.