Do I need to stay awake - would you?

[Silvercoffeenosugar]

DD 12, AuDHD had a huge meltdown this evening, I know its anxiety rooted as we have a long car journey tomorrow to visit family after a bereavement. She’s in with her dad (who’s asleep) and she is listening to something on her phone (please no comments on this, sometimes it’s the only thing that helps her to settle her busy brain).
I’m exhausted, have DS in bed next to me. I feel like I should stay awake until I know she is safely asleep - should I? I can take hours.
What do others do?

I'd set a silent alarm for each hour maybe? Are you driving? x

I would sleep - she has her Dad, it will take her a while to wind down, she knows where you are. And most importantly if you’re exhausted you can’t be as good a parent to her as if you’re rested.

but only you know how she works so it’s your choice. But I’m not sure how you can just stay awake if you’re so tired and lying down.

What's the worst thing she could do??

What do you do every other night?

Will she wake her dad up if she needs something?

Who's driving tomorrow? If it's you then you need to sleep or you won't be able to drive safely.

Her dad sleeping next to her will co-regulate her.
It sounds like you have a difficult few days ahead. Text her, tell her you love her and go to sleep.

Thank you for responding and being kind. My DH will do most of the driving, tonight she declared she isn’t going and emptied her packed case everywhere. I find it hard to sleep if I think a child is awake - she has been unpredictable and impulsive in the past - so I worry more I think.

She needs to feel listened to and not forced. Can you tempt her with a McDonalds en route for breakfast or something? Talk to her about what you can do to make the journey/visit less stressful for her. It’s hard because she might not be able to explain why it’s upsetting her?

Can you find a way of letting her back down from her stance of not wanting to go that decreases the anxiety but not let her ‘lose face’ as it were. She’ll need to feel like she’s not lost an argument but that she’s in control of the situation. I feel for you, it’s hard.

I hope you are all asleep now OP and I am wishing you all a safe and peaceful journey.

Oh and if you had given a NT 3 year old a phone I might judge, but you know your child, you know how her disability impacts on her so no judgement from me.

Thanks all. She woke up bright as a button - didn’t mention a thing, and we are on our way.

I on the other hand didn’t sleep a wink and am exhausted 😴 🤣

Classic! My dd used to wake up after a huge meltdown completely unaffected too. Try and nod off in the car if you can and agree with above poster treat yourself to a breakfast on the way!