Why am I so weird about attending some events that I know I'll actually enjoy?

[DancingDucks]

I don't know why I'm like this sometimes. I've been invited to a friend's house in a couple of weeks. It's the kind of evening I really enjoy - dinner and drinks with close friends. It's not far from my house so there's no worries about getting there and back.

I don't want to go. I have no idea why as it'll be a great night and I'll wish I'd gone the following day. I don't know why I'm like this. People would probably say that I'm an extrovert as I'm chatty, sociable etc but actually covet time in my own so I don't know why I feel like this sometimes.

Is anyone else like this or am I just odd?

What about meeting up with your friends one on one?

Kind of an adult oppositional defiance similarity perhaps.
You are more familiar with and more comfortable with being miserable or unhappy in some way, and so it has become routine to deprive yourself of life’s pleasures.

The only way to change a routine is to replace it with an unrelenting new one.

I'm the same OP and I find the only thing that gets me out the door is thinking about future memories. I've realised that when I think of great times, I don't remember the tiresome logistics of going out or the endless grind of party prep... just the event itself.

I think it helps to be realistic. I don't always have a great time at social events, and I draw the line at musical theatre and immersive experiences. Anything else is gravy!

Great post @NoctuaAthene. The idea of making yourself a star chart is so sweet ☺️

Hard relate to what you say about transitions. I really hate travelling but when I get to my destination I settle very quickly. I get very anxious about the 'going to stuff' aspect and the build up to an event but am almost always really glad that I went.

There's a great phrase - 'stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself'. Challenge the anxiety or the inner critical voice that's telling you all the negative stuff. Remind yourself that you will enjoy it when you're there. Give yourself permission to say no (if you can) to stuff that you really don't like the sound of, so that you're not constantly forcing yourself. And it can really help to remind yourself that most people feel a degree of anxiety about social events, and you can feel the fear but do it anyway

Yes, I totally get this.
In fact I've just pulled out of something tonight that I know I enjoy (its something I do regularly, with people I like) and I'm not even sure why I don't want to go. Combination of being tired, can't be arsed and anxiety.
I am quite introverted though, and I can get a bit overwhelmed by having to be 'around people' more than I feel happy with. I think that's at the root of it for me.
I've also noticed that the more I stay home the worse I get. For example, if I've been unwell and so I haven't been anywhere for a few days, I get a bit anxious about going out again. Even going to the supermarket becomes a bit of a 'thing' whereas normally doing a supermarket shop is a non-event.
Once I make myself do it though I'm fine and back to normal.
I think I'm just a bit odd!

No I think this is far from me. I'm not miserable or unhappy at all, quite the opposite. I like being on my own better than being with other people, that's when I feel completely happy. I have a very 'people' job, two DC, husband and a busy life. I love my family dearly, but I still feel very happy and comfortable on my own.

Yes, this sounds so like me!

Oh God this is me. I have a holiday with a group coming up..IN SIX MONTHS TIME..and I’m already dreading it, overthinking etc and wishing I could back out

OP..I think you’ve hit the nail on the head ..you have a very “people” job and therefore it’s taking up all your people energy.I was exactly the same . I needed to escape at lunchtime just to clear my head and recharge my “people”face!

Same here , and I usually regret not going.

I often feel like this too

I remember once someone at work messaged me and said ' do you want to go for lunch today'

And omg the panic that ensued!

I do, but I need more notice to mentally prepare!! Hahah