I feel like a terrible mother

[MyGhastIsFlabbered]

I have ADHD (unmedicated) and often get overstimulated. Last year I had a mental breakdown which I’m slowly recovering from.

This week has been really difficult. Three kids on school holidays, DH was away for 4 days on a course and last weekend I ran a marathon which resulted in a lot of painful blisters meaning I couldn’t walk much.

DS2 has AuDHD and has been pretty badly behaved this week. He’s nearly 13 and gets very aggressive. I actually felt afraid of him this week.

The kids are off to their dad’s tomorrow for a week and I cannot wait. But I feel so guilty that I’m counting down the minutes rather than enjoying time with them. They’re great kids (most of the time) and I love them to bits, but I just feel overwhelmed.

Would medication help?

God no! I think it’s normal to need some time to yourself as a mother. Especially as you are still recovering grom
a breakdown. Like the other poster said, would you do better on medication?

How's your sleeping and eating?

thank you for answering. Because of the national shortage of ADHD meds I can’t always get the meds I was on and I can’t get an appointment with a psychiatrist to try a different one. So it’s not through choice. My sleep is terrible (I also have a sleep disorder which I’m trying various treatments for) so I’m exhausted. I just feel so sad that I’m not enjoying time with my kids. And I dwell on the difficult times far more than the good times. And there ARE lots of good times.

Try to forgive yourself. Model self compassion for your children. Write down three happy memories every day (eg ‘the sound of ds2 laughing’/ ‘the colour of the sky at sunset’ -doesn’t have to be anything major)

… from a fellow neurodivergent mum who also struggles. These strategies have helped me but it’s an ongoing practice and not always easy.

no doubt you are knackered after the marathon and with your husband being away. It’s ok not to cherish every moment.