Learning to drive in my 30s

[bowsbunniesandbooks]

I’m in my 30s and currently learning to drive (automatic). I’ve tried a few times in the past (manual) but one scary incident would occur and I would stop the lessons.

Any tips? What is something you know now you’re a driver that you wish you knew when you were having your lessons!?

I passed a few weeks ago, also in my 30s. You can do it!

I think the biggest thing is to just keep trudging on: with the lessons, with practice, etc. There were weeks I’d find myself praying my instructor would cancel, and I’d have to practically force myself to go out for the lesson. Maybe the previous lesson hadn’t gone too well, or I was just feeling fed up with it all. But you have to keep at it. Even if something bad happened in the previous lesson, don’t just stop.

In the end I passed first time. Now that I’ve done some solo trips, it’s an amazing feeling, and I can already see how my life will be different moving forwards. So if learning is something that’s important for you, for whatever reason, just keep trying.

I had lessons on and off since 17, and passed when I was 33. Wasn't a natural driver and absolutely petrified. The key? For me, finally finding an instructor who could get me to understand it all and made me feel comfortable. 9 years later, I'm an OK driver :-)
Good luck, you can do it xx

Definitely persevere! I have had a lifelong phobia of driving but took driving lessons out of necessity in my thirties (automatic) after giving up at manual when I was younger. Up until my test, I would count down the minutes of my driving lessons as I found it so hard. However, I passed first time at 30 weeks pregnant and haven’t looked back. Now I’m so so glad I’ve done it as my little car has been a new lease of life for me. Good luck!

Keep going OP! I passed ( automatic ) today honestly I’m so proud I stuck it out. I found a great driving instructor after a few I just didn’t click with. You can do it !

I passed at 31! I was so anxious and passed second time! I’m so glad I stuck with it after giving up so many times before! I did end up taking bachs remedy before lessons and before my second test (my instructor recommended it). It was game changing for me. I felt so much calmer driving and don’t need it as a driver 😊

I passed ages 30! Mix of bad luck/timing and test nerves meant it took me ages.

Manoeuvres were my Achilles heel. The instructors who told me to line up the wing mirror, then do a half turn clockwise and then 🔄 or whatever bollocks it was, just didn't land in my head. Epiphany was when my new instructor just told me to look out the back window and put it where you want it! Overthinking and stupid instructions were bad for me.

I'm a very good parker now 😜

Ooh I’m also 30s and learning automatic. I’m finding it 10x easier than manual but following for tips.

My brother didn't learn until he was 35. He found the week long intensive course helpful so he could really focus on his driving. He took a week's annual leave to do it and passed at the end of it. I think the intensive course is well suited to slightly older drivers as you already have more mature judgement etc.

Just a few things to remember.

It's a series of movements. If you can dance you can drive.

Assume every other driver is a numpty.

Have you done your theory yet? The dvsa approved app is worth the 4.99, definitely helped me to pass first time.

Have a look on TikTok for driving instructor accounts. So many helpful videos- things like parking manoeuvres with great visuals, navigating roundabouts etc. Also check out YouTube for specific places in your area/test routes.

I also love my reserve camera for reverse bay parking and parallel park. You’re allowed to use them in tests which is great.

I’m a driving instructor so can pass on what people tell me.

There’s always lessons where it doesn’t go well, when you feel a bit meh about the whole thing - you’re bound to, it’s hard work. Usually I find when someone has a bad lesson they literally can do everything they want perfectly the next lesson!

There’s lots of different ways to learn, if something isn’t going in see if you can learn it another way. If it’s possible for the risk to be managed then just try experimenting (works really well for manoeuvres). Learning through your own ideas and mistakes always sticks better than listening to someone instruct.

As for the test, most people have an element of nerves but try to use good language to manage those. You’re not going to be terrified or in danger, you’re merely going to be uncomfortable- it’s a new experience but you’re in a car with someone who does 7-8 tests daily. You’re safe, you are with an expert well versed in managing risk. So avoid the language which tells your brain that it’s going to be truly terrifying, it really isn’t!

Driving tests are there to keep us and others safe, they are short and are not there to trip you up, but to ensure your safety. It’s great when you think about it.

And it’ll all be worth it. The rush of passing your test is amazing. Your instructor will also be absolutely thrilled too. We care probably more than you think! Getting that freedom is absolutely worth all the hard work I promise. So keep going and enjoy it.

Thank you everyone for your messages on here!
I passed my theory over a year ago and my driving test is booked, eeeekkkk! So I have a goal date, so far I’ve done 20 hours (started from scratch, not including all the hours I done prior in a manual).

Lots of great advice on here, thanks so much! And for the confidence boost!! I really appreciate you taking your time to reply to my post.

Do persevere. I did this age 33 and it was definitely worth it.

Slow down if doing something tricky, it gives you more time to react and think.

Update: my test is TOMORROW!!! I’m feeling quite excited, I just hope my brain doesn’t decide to forget all I’ve learned😅😂

Thanks again for the replies on here, I’ve just reread your encouraging messages and advice!!

Oh good luck OP! I really hope it goes well.

I PASSED!!! Thank you all!!!

Oh congratulations, it's so lovely when you pass!
I learned to drive in my 30s, although it was years ago now as I'm in my 60s. I also learned on an automatic because I just couldn't "get it" on a manual (and automatics were much less common in those days).
I used to feel dreadful because unlike you, it took me 3 times to pass the test, even in an automatic!

Yet....I have driven for years now and love it. I'm a good, sensible driver and even went on to do my Advanced driving. Having a car and being able to drive really changed my life over the years, it gave me the freedom to go places, do jobs I couldn't otherwise have done, and made such a difference to family life too.
You won't regret it, well done!

Well done! 👏 👏👏
That's brilliant.

I passed my test in February at age 37. So I know the feeling of relief and joy when you pass.
I still can't believe it sometimes.

Thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥰🥰🥰

Congratulations!

Got no tips as I'm not a driver (yes I know,the ultimate Mumsnet sin 😂) but if it's any consolation my late dad passed his test when he was 47.